Splice Advent Calender 2009: Day 6

Another hopefully inappropriate film for you to watch with your family this Christmas, it's Die Hard:



A slam dunk eh? Violence, swearing and a middle age man covered in shit wearing only a vest. Not very Christmassy. Well it isn't for most people. That could easily be a description of most Xmas dinners 'round oor way. The hope then is that it doesn't give your family warm, fuzzy feelings of all being together, but rather disgusts them and they all piss off leaving you to mouth every word, because let's be honest if you're a male and you don't know every line of Die Hard you should be castrated. But that only works if Xmas dinner goes smoothly in your house, and how often does that happen? Instead Die Hard will present itself as a perfect little piece of the hell that is the twenty fifth day of December.

And even if this isn't your family's idea of Xmas fare they may not leave you alone to watch it anyway. Any male will end up watching it with you. The kids'll love all the explosions and the illicit thrill of all the language. Mum'll probably fancy Alan Rickman (damn you for being so handsome!) or ol' Brucie boy.

Even Granny won't be put off if she's a certain vintage. The sight of a bunch of Germans getting shot to bits'll probably be her cup of tea.

So Die Hard, a great film, but an utter failure at getting you any peace this festive season.