The Bob Dylan Christmas album, Christmas In The Heart is shite. There I said it you sycophants. It's bloody rubbish. And yet all those "hardcore" Dylan fans love it saying it's like brilliant and stuff. It's, like, so not. These same people are probably responsible for the five star Amazon reviews of albums like Empire Burlesque and Down In The Groove.
But I own all the Dylan albums, including those bad 80's ones. I've even got the Christian ones which may even be worse. As such the completest, read bloody idiot, in me made me buy this. So let's have a gander:
Now I know what you're thinking after watching that and the answer is yes, he's done a lot of drugs in his time. Must Be Santa is the sort of song that makes you cry out "what the bloody hell is this?" it's so bad. And yet that's probably what makes it somewhat enjoyable as well. It's fucking mental and that alone makes it a better Xmas song than most you'll hear blaring out in Sainsburys this year.
Musically the album's actually quite good thanks to Dylan's fantastic backing band that have been a major reason his recent output has sounded so rich. The problem is Dylan himself. Not because like when you see him live he's a curmudgeonly old git, no he's clearly having a bawl. It's his voice. It was always akin to a goose being raped whilst dragged through a foghorn bush or whatever that saying is but as he's continued to not die it has become exceptionally nasally and crackly. That works fine on his own stuff but here he sounds like an old jakey staggering through the freezing fog singing popular carols in an attempt to raise the cash for a bottle of wine so he can celebrate Xmas properly. It's not really what you want at Christmas is it? Unless you're an ex-pat pining for a Scottish Yuletide, the local winos not quite living up to your expectations. Then this album is for you.
I'm not going to criticise the decision of Dylan to finally cash in on this time of year. Virtually everyone else has so why not Bob? Bare in mind this is the guy who put out a £90 version of his last Bootleg Tapes set with an exclusive CD of material only found in that box. It's not a shock on other words. The simple fact is that the album isn't very good but it is a bit of fun. Nobody involved is taking it seriously, apart maybe from Mr. Zimmerman's accountant, as this photo from the inside sleeve suggests:
They're faces seem to be saying "are we really doing this?" Why yes, yes you are. Merry Commercial Christmas Bob Dylan's backing band.
If you want an Xmas record that doesn't get played to death in the supermarkets, yet is also brilliant and heartfelt check out Low's Christmas. It's downbeat, sparse and bloody beautiful. Opener Just Like Christmas is one of the finest Xmas songs ever and their version of Blue Christmas should be considered the definitive one.
What better way to mark the tenth anniversary of this remarkable wee record than picking it up?
If Low floats your boat then you're a misery guts just like me. Check this out then, the saddest Xmas song ever, Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis by Tom Waits:
(This is a live version with a bit of Silent Night at the start)
No comments:
Post a Comment