Right, how do you top Santa With Muscles and Santa And The Ice Cream Bunny? By switching to his Elves of course. Elves is one of those glorious straight to video late 80's films that you just have to see. It's utter rubbish but in a maniacally genius sort of way. Within the first twenty minutes we've seen Art Deco boobs, a cat's death at the hands of a toilet and a coked up Santa being murdered through the balls:
Basically the Nazis have created elves as the perfect soldiers and if one of them can get it on with a virgin of Nazi lineage on Xmas Eve he can sire the Anti-Christ. As they say the line between madness and genius...
Oh and the bible describes how elves are real:
This may be the perfect Xmas movie. Obviously I'm saying that through the perspective of the "Bah Humbug" filter. There's something for everyone (to hate), be it incest, elfin rape or corpse nibbling.
Show this movie to anyone and they won't only leave you alone for the festive period. They'll never talk to you again.
Live Stuff
13 years ago
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