Just a quick post to say that I watched this excellent documentary from the droll comedian the other night. It explores how the American south has been depicted by various media, mainly focusing on Hollywood's negative stereotypes about the place.
It's well worth checking out, as anyone who saw his earlier Westerns film will know, and it further sets Hall out as a genuinely interesting writer on film, amongst other things.
The Dirty South can be viewed on the BBC iPlayer here (UK IP address needed) until 25th July 2010.
Splice loves certain things more than others. Movies is in there. Football is in there. Baseball is also in there, and let me just say this the lesser known love of (maybe just this splice blogger) is time lapse photography. Just cant get enough of it. Al those ones on like hige super motorways which see the sun coming up and setting and all the car lights for example. Love it.
Which brings me to this, which is time lapse photography but also incorporates baseball. But like this its cinema right?
Hockey, North American speak for Ice Hockey is a really good game actually. Football (soccer, sic) is also a very good game. I am probably wrong but hockey is almost (but not quite) as neglected in the movie world as football but it will soon have a new film in its canon and this one is by a respected and good director (in my opinion at least) and that is reason to rejoice.
As i have given this blog the title of "Kevin Smith Hockey Movie" it shouldnt be too hard to decipher as to which director is taking a pop at an actual sports movie so i suppose i should just get going with some info if you want it and highlight how excited i am about the prospect even at this early stage.
My interest was piqued by a few things, having liked Smiths films a lot over the years i have recently finished his book My Boring Ass Life and thought it was great and kinda developed a wee crush on him when i spot his name in anything i am instantly drawn so while hunting out the hockey scores on Tuesday night, mooching around the nhl website i chanced upon a piece about him and read with interest that following A Couple of Dicks which is due out soonish, his next project will be a film about hockey!
The link i have put on explains it all in detail but to surmise, its a film based on a song (when at uni my scriptwriting lecturer oftens said that songs could form the basis of decent scripts and i long held the belief that that was bullshit but not no now) by a guy called Warren Zevon and is called Hit Somebody and so now on the imdb page for the expected film that is the title it is going under. Other links on this page have Will Wheaton as the lead, but i Think this was taken from some throwaway remark on twitter. Where else? Though i in no way have any opinion on Wheaton playing a role when i dont know what that role is, god, even if i did know the role i probably wouldnt have much of an opinion!
So, well, a thouroughly thought out blog would have some insight into the song from listening to it but there will be none of that here. I may seek out the song in the future but right now i am just happy that the film is being mooted. I have read its about an enforcer type player who would dearly love to score a goal but is sent out onto the ice simply to beat the crap out the opositions good players. Sounds good, it may even be a period piece which would be sweet.
So there we have it, 2011 is the estimated date of arrival which is kinda vague, but a date of arrival none the less, you could check back here regular to get updates on this project but i recommend Smiths own twitter account or his excellent websites.
Oh and Smith is in Britain right now and is visiting Scotland to talk, and Im in Canada.
Well, twitter finally comes up trumps, actually no twitter finally came up trumps when i saw someone put "old macdonald had tourettes, e, i, e, i, cunt, but twitter today made me happy as the empire feed from comic-con (i really really really want to go to one of those) related the news that the arrested development movie is in the works and cound begin shooting in 6 months! or 18 months, either way good stuff! So with a bit of research i found out a little more and found this video
yep, he has a interview in a magazine called details where he talks about the prospects of a AD film. You know i actually saw this magazine on the stands when i was in a book shop last week and thought that would be an interesting read becuase Bateman usually is, i never bought it cos i am tight.
And so we come to the end of the Splice Halloween marathon thing for this year and what might be the most intense of all the films suggested. Slither is a strange, brilliant beast. It's a mish-mash of horror staples done in a style that recalls Evil Dead, Re-Animator and a ton of those schlocky 80's comic horror films. It too is very funny, but the humour is used to punctuate a pretty extreme set of events. So for every funny line, of which there are many, or stupid action, ditto, there are alien rapes, fat women giving birth to killer slugs, guys getting split in half, cows getting killed and the mutation of one character that just spirals until he takes up a house.
It sounds terrible when written down, I suppose much like Bubba Ho-tep, but just like that movie it's all about the execution and the performances. Nathan Fillion is the hero Bill Pardy, although I use hero in the Ash in the first Evil Dead sort of way, and as can be expected from him he's great. Goofy, charming and finally the guy you do want in this situation. Elizabeth Banks is also fantastic as Starla, a woman you most certainly don't fuck with:
The masterstroke in the casting though has to be Michael Rooker, who played Henry, that serial killer they done a portrait of, who as Grant Grant moves from an obnoxious slob through soeone experiencing love for the first time in their fifteen billion year lifespan to murderous alien to mutant freak with aplomb. Grant's the guy who finds a meteor with an alien parasite in it. it infects him, but has to use his brain and body to go about business so falls in love with Starla. then the parasite begins to mutate his body and he becomes a tentacled freak. That's not all, as he has set up a "womb" which gives birth to alien slugs that burrow into a host's brain, making them into a zombie that is connected psychically to Grant's original parasite. Then they go through the process of becoming one physically. So it's an alien possession, creepy crawly, mutant, zombie movie that's a bit like a comedy as well. A lot to take in.
It's a film that knows what it's doing though. As much as the threat keeps changing, and as a result the main protagonist of the movie changes on a number of occasions, this never becomes a mess, well it becomes a gory mess but that's something else altogether. this is thanks to James Gunn, who directed and wrote it. He's a guy that knows the genre very well, he wrote the 2004 version of Dawn Of the Dead and worked at Troma Films for quite a while. As a result he knows what he wants to do, and that is re-create those 70's and 80's films such as the early Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson ones, or the works of David Cronenberg during that time. There are many, many nods to the films throughout Slither. And what is so impressive about it is that Gunn has turned in a film that is worthy of those directors. It is intense, in an Evil Dead or Braindead sort of way. It bludgeons you with its ideas, and it is pretty damn sick. There's a good level of gore, disgusting but never too much that it becomes ridiculous, see Braindead, but there is also some genuine comedy found here too. Not just in the witty banter, but in the actual events. It's a film that becomes funnier the more you are acquainted with the genre .
In short if you're looking for just one modern B-movie to view with a group of friends on Halloween then Slither's the one. It was released about the same time as Snakes On A Plane and slipped under the radar while that film rode in on a wave of hype that was totally mis-placed. But it's a gem for those who like their horror gory, funny, sick and extreme. See Slither, it's one of the best movies of the past five years. I'm serious!
Strap yourself in for the plot to this one; Elvis and JFK are alive and unwell in nursing home in Texas. The former swapped places with an impersonator for a quiet life, the latter survived Dallas and was dyed black by the CIA so he couldn't be found. Then they realise that a mummy who has lived in the American south for so long that he's become a redneck has been sucking the souls of the residents of the nursing home through their bums thanks to some graffiti he's left in the public bathroom after crapping the soul residue out. Well The King and the President ain't taking it and armed with an electric wheelchair and a zimmer frame set out to kill Bubba. Oh and the entire narrative thrust of the film revolves around Elvis getting his first hard-on in over a decade.
It sounds like the most ludicrous film ever made, and yet it is in fact poignant, surprisingly moving and damn funny. Of course it's up to you if this is really Elvis and JFK, common sense would say no but the movie peppers little clues that suggest that they may not be two old mental cases. Either way by the end you'll have fallen so greatly for the characters that you won't care if they're the real deal or not. In fact you won't even notice how ridiculous this all is. This is mainly thanks to the performances. Ossie Davis as Jack is at once Presidential and also paranoid. Look for the little quirks he brings to the role, forever looking out for Lyndon B. trying to get him. Even better is Bruce Campbell, the God of cult schlock. It is often ignored, mainly thanks to the films that Campbell is in, that he is a pretty good actor. The fact that he chooses to do these projects, as opposed to them being all he can get, shows this. If you've seen his stint in the show Burn Notice you'll have already realised how good he can be. Here he is breathtaking as a man defeated, regretting the choices he has made in life and reduced to a bed-ridden, cancer of the penis stricken wreck. As the events unfold he finds he still has some life in him and finally gets to play the hero and go out a somebody. Again it doesn't matter if he really is Elvis, he believes he is and so he experiences true longing for a life gone south. The fact that Campbell manages all this while trying to be one of the most iconic people who ever lived, and a staple impression of every drunk guy, while in tons of old guy make up is even more unbelievable. It's just typical that when he finally turns in a performance like this he does it in a movie with this premise meaning that it will be forever ignored. It's unjust and deserves to be seen.
It's not just a sad peon to how to grow old gracefully. It's also a great comedy. The premise should tell you that, but the whole approach to language, and in particular Elvis' way of describing stuff is just beautiful in its hilarity. The fact that Elvis would clearly describe the size of a cockroach in relation to banana and peanut butter sandwiches is brilliantly observed, as is Bubba's hick speech, represented by hieroglyphs that spew forth from his mouth. Also look out for Jack's Oval Office style room and his words to ward off evil.
Bubba Ho-tep is a classic example of a film that could never be made within the studio system. Its premise is just too ludicrous and its execution totally skewed from what you'd expect. If a studio did green light this they'd insist on something less sad, more scary and they'd probably want a younger Elvis. And Bruce Campbell would never be allowed in this, unless he was killed first.
7) Groundhog Day Part 12; not the Bill Murray film's eleventh sequel, but a swipe at Halloween, Friday 13th et al. Anyway this is older than the time loop comedy. So Monster Squad is directly responsible for that other great film (okay, it's not).
8) Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, The Wolfman, The Mummy and The Creature From The Black Lagoon (okay that's cheating a bit)
9) Mr. Alucard (straight from the Nilbog school of clues that one).
10) Eugene's Dad deals with the "monsters".
11) "Rudy, a question. Do you know any virgins?"
12) Dracula drives, and a hearse with a silver skull hood ornament no less.
13) The effects are actually way better than you remember/think.
14) "Creature stole my Twinkie".
15) "Maybe we should be 'Nature Squad' and look at rocks and birds and not be dead".
16) "The Wolfman's got nards!"
17) The Mummy's death is genius.
18) "Like really religious Sean, why don't we just go and do it in Burger King?"
19) "My name is Horace!"
20) The closing "with it" Monster Squad theme tune:
Some site this as the first horror film ever made, it more than likely isn't, but it is still one of the finest. And although it's not the first horror, it very likely is the first film to feature the "twist ending".
So why should part of your Halloween marathon include a silent movie from 1919? I mean it can't be scary can it? To modern audiences, no, but if you allow yourself to be enveloped by its world it'll seriously get to you. The story is a pretty simple one. When a small German town holds its annual fair the main attraction is a weird man called Dr. Caligari who shows his ability to control a somnambulist. The sleep-walking freak predicts people will die that night and then they do. When one of those people is Francis' friend Alan Francis decides to take matters into his own hands.
Ho hum by today's standards. What makes Caligari so astonishing, even today, is its visual style. It is a film of artifice, with a style drawn from the German Expressionist movement of the time. Firstly it looks unrealistic, and this is deliberate. It looks like it is shot in a studio and that everything is painted. Rather than this being the result of it being low budget tat, it's like this by choice. The set design actively draws attention to how fake it looks. It wants you to enter the world of the film, one that looks similar to the real one but is just ever so slightly off. Beyond the fact it looks like a set, obviously influenced by theatrical productions of the time, is the fact that everything within it seems to be misshapen. Angles jut from all corners of the screen and everyday things are twisted and stretched into odd shapes and sizes, a perfect example being the town clerks ridiculously over-sized chair. he has to stoop to fit under the ceiling. What is great is that beyond this being merely cool looking the skewed sets actually tell the story of the film. The overall feeling is an ugly world, twisted and jagged. It looks as if it is created by a madman, or that the people who inhabit it have mutated it into something vile and dangerous. Within the big picture there are some fantastic little visual moments. The aforementioned chair tells us that the clerk is important but could also be read as a representation of the pomp and self aggrandising of people in these sorts of positions. The chair is ridiculous, but the clerk continues to sit in it as it raises him above everyone else. When the clerk is found murdered in his bedroom we are presented with the scene here to the right. He was stabbed, and the room's telling you that. The huge window appears as a knife's blade thrusting into the bed where the dead clerk lays, as if the world itself has murdered the man.
Now this is a spoiler so stop reading now and go watch it if you don't want it ruined for you but have been intrigued by what has been written.
The clerk has been murdered by the world. This is because the world is the creation of one character's insane mind, hence the way it looks. His murder has only happened because Francis has made it up. This is the twist I was talking about. A framing story was added by the director after the fact that reveals Francis to be in an insane asylum. He is telling his story to someone, but it becomes clear that all of the characters are based on fellow inmates and the story is in fact an old Italian tale he has read, but he has been unable to separate fact from fiction. And of course we're put in the same position. Is this a true story or a load of rubbish, the ramblings of a madman?
This is not to say that the story isn't intriguing. It's actually a very clever little story. And the acting is great too, in that over the top silent style. Here it really works though, especially for Caligari, who is all bluster and huge gestures, and Cesare, the somnambulist, who walks about with fluidity, almost in slow motion. He is genuinely creepy wandering about as if a dream creature, at one with his surroundings, no matter how bizarre.
The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari is a work of art. Not just as a visual feast. It is an important piece of filmmaking that has gone a long way to dictating many of the tenets of the horror. It is also massively important in the shaping of filmic storytelling, not just in the twist, but in the continuity style as well. It still influences filmmakers to this day, the most obvious being Tim Burton. Then there are the social readings which I won't go into here, but Caligari is seen as a key text in understanding post World War I Germany, and the feelings present that allowed the Nazis to gain power. In fact it is actually blamed in one of the most famous film critiques ever written; From Caligari to Hitler by Siegfried Kracauer. Whether you agree with the idea that a film can hold that level of power or not, it is an interesting read nonetheless. As much as it is a fine example of film as art and a damn important film, it's also great. It's a film that will get into your head and stay there, gnawing away at you. Think of it as the film version of Edvard Munch's The Scream. Another words, it's a perfect little horror film for your Halloween marathon.
Remember a time when Tremors was on Channel 4 at least once a year. It was the same time that heathers, Mystic Pizza and Raising Arizona shared the same status. But those heady days are gone, and the modern take on the cheesy 50's B-movie has all but dried up in favour of some guy with a brain disease playing deadly versions of Kerplunk with his victims, or something like that.
Tremors is one of those films that may be perfect! Yup I said it. The guys behind it just get cheesy, creature feature horror. From the quick build up of the opening scenes, with some disturbing little scenes, through the brilliantly tense action set-pieces that make up the rest of the movie it just oozes class. The ideas on show are fantastic. And I'm not just talking about whole Jaws on dry land thing, or the scenes where the characters are trapped on rocks or on roofs and have to think of a way off without touching the ground. No I'm talking about the visual flair. This is a low budget film and so the idea of popping your monster underground is a great one. It's a terrifying idea, but it also covers the monster up, making it more scary. The unseen is better, or worse to be specific, than a crappy rubber monster, just ask Speilberg. The problem is is what that leaves you with is a bunch of people running about bolting from nothing. So queue some ingenious little effects that show where the monsters are, such as the scene where Val and Earl run alongside a fence and the posts fall as the creature passes under them. Cheap as chips. it also means copious amounts of Sam Raimi's finest achievement, outside of beating up Bruce Cambell with gay abandon, the cheapo glider cam thing. Want to show the creature's point of view but need the camera to move quickly and glide unnaturally but don't have the money for a steadicam? Pop your camera on a plank of wood and run. Of course I'm guessing this was used on Tremors but i wouldn't be shocked.
But all that would be for nothing if you didn't have the characters. You care about this lot. They're funny, and just like the creatures, a bit dumb, but learning as they go. There are some wonderfully over-the-top performances, none more so than Mr. 84 degrees of himself; Kevin Bacon. then there's the ever-brilliant Fred Ward, who really should have had a more prominent career, seriously the guy's great. The interplay between the two is great fun.
What makes Tremors so great is that it fully understands how ludicrous movies like Them! are, that their central concepts are really dumb and that the movie is as much about enjoying the experience as being terrified by it. So the treatment gently pokes at the conventions, and the stupidity without ever tearing the stuff down. It's actually a very intelligently constructed and tightly scripted movie passing itself off as a B-feature.
The Asylum makes films that are basically DVD cash in for the latest blockbuster hitting the cinema, Snakes on a Plane became Snakes on a Train, I am Legend, I am Omega and Transformers became Transmorphers. you get the drift.
by the title you may think this is a review it isnt, i havent watched it. it is however a wee link to something funny. The imdb page for the film has a forum type bit at the bottom, i read it and chuckled so thought i should pass it on. what has happened is a group of students have decided to do a riff track type thing on htis film and ecided to use imdb to tell the director, now maybe they were just doing it for a laugh or they knew he would bite i dont know but he did and does and still does bite every time, sticking up for himself and his film while calling names to the "trolls" as he puts it. his name is Leigh Scott, i am pretty sure i should say he is a dick but i dunno, i kinda like his stance, take a bow bud. Splice salutes you.
Yeah I know this should be on The NHOJ but I'm not talking about Baseball as good as it is, I'm talking about five's, what happened to the capital letter folks?, excellent show that features the live games.
For over a decade now host Jonny Gould and a rotation of cracking pundits have tirelessly brought British terrestrial viewers the game live. The show is a combination of hard facts for those more accustomed to the game and tutorials for those that aren't. Thankfully thanks to the people involved this is in no way dry, but rather one of the funniest shows on TV at times. This is down not only to the very funny people, comedian Phil Jupitus has joined this year to add to the laughs, but the general tone of the show.
Gould is the greatest asset, a host who seems to never quite have a grip on the situation but somehow always stumbles through. It's actually mesmerising to watch. He also is one cheesy guy, in fact if he ever does a movie he's getting made a Splice Hero of Cheese instantly, meaning that he's an easy target for a slagging from his wingmen and producer. But he always takes it on the chin and gets them back. The producer Eric gets ripped to shreds constantly.
But that's what's so great about it. it's a group of people having a great time it just so happens that they're not just hosting a live telly programme but also showcasing live sport at the same time. This relaxed feel allows you to become drawn in very easily, either through emailing the show, going on the forums or playing the fantasy baseball game that ensnares Gould worse than anyone every year. Even if you don't, just being able to laugh at the in jokes makes you feel a part of something, call it a cult TV fanship if you will.
In all honesty I can't think of a better way to promote the game in this country than this show. Keep up the good work boys!
So I've just finished watching every episode of Mystery Science theater 3000. That's a great number of episodes. Just shy of two hundred. "What's the big deal?" I hear you ask, and by you I mean the voices in my head. Don't worry, they're helpful. They ask the questions that need asking, or tell me that the jumper I'm wearing makes me look like a nonce. I digress, the big deal lies in the fact that this feat took just shy of two years thanks to a cap placed by me on myself only watching two episodes per week to avoid burnout. You see for those that don't know MST3K, as we in the "biz", and by "biz" I mean we who watch it and aren't actually in any sort of business as such, call it, the show lasts ninety minutes an episode and features a bloke and some puppet robots watching truly awful films. Of course that means anyone watching it is watching someone watch a film that's not very good. I'm not explaining it well but suffice to say it's like a DVD commentary that takes the piss out of movies that deserve to have their urine extracted. And thanks to the awfulness of the movies and the sheer volume of witty one-liners it can become quite exhausting watching it non-stop.
So I started on New Year's Day 2006 and finished on November 14 2007. Eleven seasons worth of bad movies and funny quips. It's a huge undertaking in many ways and something that all fans of the show should do. Why? In a word evolution. It develops an understanding as to how this wonderfully odd show came into being and developed into one of the funniest things ever made. From those baby steps of the KTMA years (Season Zero) as the performers improvise through movies they haven't even watched, fine tuning the type of humour and the characters, through the tentative steps of scripting the show in Season 1 before everything falls into place in Season 2 and sets the show running for the "glory years" (Seasons 3 - 7). Then of course there is the decline that the Sci-fi era (Seasons 8 - 10) exhibits. In these final days it is a show running out of steam, being slowly crushed under the weight of burnout among those with the show, coupled with many losses of important personnel on the way and the inevitability of cancellation.
Watching the show in its entirety and in order reveals things about it. There are the obvious things, such as the break down above of the different eras of the show. Then there are the smaller things, the things that don't lead well to appreciation if it is watched scattered. If you watch the show on a Rhino DVD volume you may come to conclusions such as: Bill's Crow isn't as good as Trace's, Josh's Servo and Larry are terrible, the Mads are awful in the Sci-fi era, Mike is better than Joel. Obviously they are all open to vice-versa. Watching it as it evolves gives you an appreciation of things because you live with them for a time. Josh Weinstein is excellent during his tenure as Servo. He is the funniest at improvising in the theatre and some of the running jokes he creates for Servo (mango juice) are hilarious. Larry is not so great. During KTMA he's tolerable but in Season 1 Josh begins mugging too much and makes the voice higher. His decision to use his own voice for Servo after the Kermit on helium original voice is a relief mind you. Leaping forward to the other puppet change, Bill Corbett is phenomenal as Crow. The decision to play him as if he is now older and grumpy is genius as it matches Bill's voice perfectly. I still prefer Trace's interpretation but Bill's really grows on you on those final months of the marathon. Of note as well are the changes to Trace's Crow. He grows older during his tenure. He starts almost like an infant in the first couple of years before maturing. When watched in order Crow grows up from KTMA - Sci-fi. The Mads in the Sci-fi era are not great, but again when Forrester and Frank are but a distant memory it becomes easier to like what they are doing. As for Joel vs. Mike, they are both excellent in different ways and not only did they bring different characters to the human hosts, they also brought different tones to the show.
The really great thing about watching the evolution of the show is watching a talented group of people find their collective feet and start to produce quality television after a great deal of experimenting to see what works and what doesn't. Comparisons with The Simpsons can be found here. It too has a little seen "season zero" (the Tracy Ullman shorts) and can be seen evolving and changing greatly in its earliest years before hitting its stride and finding a glory period that is pretty much unmatched by any other show. Shamefully when The Simpsons began to run out of steam it kept going (and going, and going, an...).
Of course neither show would be allowed today. Both took an age to find their audiences and iron out the kinks, mainly thanks to the makers doing it their own way as opposed to following notes from the networks they were on. MST3K came along at a perfect time, as did The Simpsons, as there were new networks desperate for content to fill the schedules that they were willing to give a fair chance. These days MST3K would have been canceled quickly. In fact, strike that, it would never have been picked up.
So the big question is, on looking back, what is the best season of MST3K? Very difficult to say but in all honesty every season has something about it to recommend, either thanks to how strong the episodes are or because of interesting developments (KTMA, Season 1, Season 8's host segments, Season 10's first and last episodes). Trying to pick one of the seasons from the glory period is almost impossible as Seasons 3 - 7 are simply brilliant. Season 7 has a 100% strike rate, but then it only has six episodes so it doesn't technically count. At this point the one I wouldn't pick is Season Four, but the reason for this comes out of marathon fatigue. Season Four came at a point where I should have taken about a month off before going into it. I plan to go back and watch the season again by itself after there has been enough time passed after finishing this.
All in all through the wheat and the chaff, and there's plenty of both, for every Cave Dwellers in a season, there's a Castle of Fu Manchu, the complete body is some work and one that deserves to be watched as it was intended. Obviously those first couple of KTMA are missing but if you only need a few episodes to finish your collection then get them and sit down to this. It can be a slog at times but in the end it is well worth it.
And it must be said, this is the greatest show about films ever made, purely because it serves as a great education as to how not to make them!
