Splice Advent Calender 08: Day 6

S. A. C. 2008: 6th December

Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians



Cinematic Titanic's Christmas offering is a strange old affair for anyone who worships at the alter of Riff. You see the movie they have chosen to verbally destroy is Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, not so much a film as a high speed sleigh crash that killed four, ruining Christmas for all the children of the world, as long as they live in the Jesusy bit. So far, so good then. They've picked a movie worthy of the treatment meted out to it. The problem is is that it has had this treatment before. And not just by anyone, but by Mystery Science Theater 3000, or for those not knowledgeable of the Riff family tree, the show that the Cinematic Titanic crew all started out on. And it's not even a minor entry in that show's canon. It's considered an out and out classic, so much so that it was packaged in a set called The Essentials with maybe the most famous episode Manos: The Hands Of Fate. Repeated riffs aren't new. In the same season as the original Santy Claus they redone a number of Japanese movies, including five Gamera titles, previously attacked during the show's Season Zero. They improved on the first attempts no end, with a few becoming classics that the first goes would never. But the original Santy isn't a fumbled, improvised attempt like those Japanese ones so why re-riff?

It would appear for no other reason than to say "because we can". That and it really is an Xmas movie that deserves to be massacred for the holidays. Both that and the determination to prove that they can do it seems to have brought the best out in them.

Now at this juncture I'm going to admit that I am not one of those who believes that the MST3K treatment of Santy is one of their best. I actually find it to be one of their most overrated episodes. The host segments are excellent;



and the riffing is of a good level but next to some other episodes from the same time, and the later Xmas episode riffing a Mexican movie called Santa Claus, show it up to be nothing more than a decent episode. As such the consternation I felt about CT re-doing this was borne out of the idea that sometimes it's best to leave the past behind. On other words I actually shared the belief of those who love the first version that they might not do a funnier version. The main reason is the film itself. It's a glorious mess, but it's also quite boring. Plus I wasn't too sure about the whole re-riffing thing as a whole. The movie's been done by you already so just leave it.

Well, and I don't want to sound like a CT sycophant after four positive reviews so far, it's bloody brilliant. My preconceptions were made to look foolish by this. Not only is the new riffing good, it's better than the MST one. Any reservations about having to go through this film again were quickly quashed by the material. See the thing is, it's been a long time since that original episode. A long time for the writers/performers to change and for a lot of stuff to happen. At one point Joel even gives a nod to this fact by pointing out that he can't remember why Pia Zadora being in it was funny to them.

There is another secret weapon, the one CT riffer who wasn't on MST when Santy was riffed. Josh Weinstein had left the show after Season 1 so this is his first crack at it. What he does here is something that has been impressive to me about him throughout CT so far, he's a bit edgy. He seems to be the one that goes places, such as the MILF Kringle line or pointing out that not every kid's Christian in the world. And check out his cynicism during the ladder scene.

Despite being a "repeat" this is terrific fun, and perfect Xmas viewing. What at first appeared to be a problem turns out to be CT 5's strength. By repeating a movie that has been previously riffed and is well loved it has forced them to operate at the highest riffing level. Having to write a whole new set of riffs has forced them to try new angles. It's these things that make this better than the original MST3K treatment. Ultimately redoing a movie brought out the best in these guys and proved me wrong in the bestestest of ways.

You can get Cinematic Titanic 5: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians here on DVD or in high-tec download.