Splice Advent Calendar 2008: Days 19 & 21

So here is what happened, again it happens every year without fail, i opened the door on the 19th and nothing was inside, nothing at all, i thought thats weird but ultimately with nothing inside there is nothing to show you guys. But, directly below the number 19 door is 21 and when i opened that this morning i found out that 19 had slipped down and the two were there in front of me. I am sure this has happened to you all so no need to give me hard times, basically now you get a double treat today and ye cany grumble at that!

S.A.C. 2008: 19th December

Time for another Christmas minor irritation, today its.....aftershave/perfume ads! What the bloody hell are they all about? What are they telling us? Are we really to believe that if we buy this stuff then we will look like that, act like that an have burds falling at our feet? really?

Some of the culprits, Armani's Diamonds both for men and woman, the aftershave has Josh Hartnett in it, the perfume; Beyonce, bugging as hell, Dolce and Gabanna aftrshave, the ad has Matthew McConoghey with his shirt off, do i really need to see that at half time during the fitba? er, no. Paco Rabann's One Million is on all the bloody time another ad that gets my tits! Sean John, Armani code, Chanel no 1, the one with Nicloe Kidman that is like Moulin Rouge, the list goes on and on! Basically it seems its just a bumper pay day for film stars, the bastards, making us feel inadequite while trying to convice us to buy their products witht heir thinly veiled line of bullshit advertising!

If your wondering what i am talking about, simply type a particular perfume or aftershave into youtube and go mad or click onto this guys page cos he is collating them for some weird reason. (surely everyone hates them?)

http://www.dmfragrances.co.uk/store/perfume-adverts.aspx

An advert i would like to see thatr is to do with aftershave would be a lesson in how to put on aftershave with George Clooney or some guy from Lost (not John Locke) because really, who knows what to exactly do with it, do you actually put it on your face, behind your ears, on your wrists? what is the protocol for aftershave, its one of the mysteries of growing up and one that seemingly has never been revealed, when we die i suppose we will be told the meaning of life and the secrets of putting on aftershave, both of which will be of absolutely no fucking use then!

Incidentally, form Christmas day onwards the Aftershave spaces are taken up by ads for settees, but dont get me started on them!

S.A.C. 2008: 21st December

I think Red's summation of the Holiday Tv on day 20 is a bit cynical personally, an excuse for a cheap gag really. So here is my pick of the festive telly from today till new years day and i wont be using the frankly snobby radio times rather the free telly book out the Sunday Mail.

21st: 30 Rock. Channel five. I havent seen this show and its whole first season is being repeated on five over the festive period, it kicks off tonight so i shall set ma video for it.
22nd: Father Ted Xmas Special. Channel 4. A tv classic.
23rd: Rab C Nesbitt. BBC2. Back after all those years, this might very well be pish but here is only one way to find out.
Xmas Eve: Sky High. BBC1. Good film about a school for superheroes.
Xmas Day: National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. ITV. The Griswalds at Chrimbo, what could be better.
Boxing Day: Worlds Strongest Man; 30 Years of Pain. Channel five. It wouldnt be Christmas without Strongman for me so this is a look back at all that sort of stuff, atlas stones, pulling trains and whatever the hell Met RX is.
27th: Fitba. Setanta/Sky Sports. Old firm for those who care but waiting on the Killie score with Jeff Stelling is terrific fun.
28th: Big Fat Quiz of the Year. Channel 4. Always good fun.
29th: Uncle Buck. ITV. Its frustrating when these sort of films appear on at afdternoon times as they have clearly been edited to take the super funny swearing out but even still this film is class.
30th: Shooting Stars. BBC2. A show that shaped my sense of humour, bloody love it when Vic Reeves kids on he is playing the keyboard while Bob dances. bloody love it.
Hogmanay: Only an Excuse. BBC1. Its been right shite for years but still needs to be watched.
New Years Day: The Krypton Factor. ITV. its back, spend the whole show booing that they havent brought back Gordon Burns though (its old host) unless it turns out its quite gid, then just watch it and enjoy.

and thats it, the 2nd sees Celeb big bro come back, which might be good, and the new year sees lost, dexter and stuff back so its not all doom and gloom. Happy viewing.