The Damned United: Movie Tie Ins

well its enevitable, set in stone some would say, when a popular book is made into a film and so it is relaunched to put itno the public eye more and more. And it all goes mental, and this movie tie in finds itself in the 2 for £7 deal in asda! Anyway, alongside Marley and Me on the shelves right now is The Damned United only it wont look like this;





It now looks like this;

Yes, they have used the movie poster to sell the book off the back of the film. For me not a patch on the other cover but there you go.

Anyway, its a mere couple of weeks till the film is released, hopefully the best football movie since

er,

well, since like ever.

Splice Movies T.W.A.T.

Midweek Movies T.W.A.T. 9th - 12th March 09

T.W.A.T. means to watch avec telly. This is the Spice Guide to whats on telly thats filmy. Read it and post some comments, what you watched, what you didnt, tell me to stop posting thins crap, your choice.Avec means "with" i know that but rather than "on" and make it T.W.O.T. its T.W.A.T. cos its aesthetically more pleasing.

Another weekend has rolled itself around so here is where to find out what is coming up on the telly if your staying in. Or rather you could probably check the papers too, they have the tv listings, yeah! But it doesnt have the same spin on it you will read here so forget the national press and read on.

Monday 9th Mar 09

Back when it was released some 6 or 7 years ago, Daredevil was shat on big time. But flying in the face of it i actually rather liked it. It spawned a sequel of sorts, as this films centres on the love interest from Daredevil who dies in the original, so its a spin off type thing. Its on C4 at ten and is the perfect thing for a post weekend wind down, though its not that good its not terrible and thats ok. Also worth a look and from that sequel territory is Police Story 2, anyone who read last weeks TWAT will know my feelings on the dumbing down of foreign films in the schedules so i will just say its on and move on. Jackie Chan at 11.05 on five. Another British comedy is on tonight, this time on ITV at 11.35. Ready When you Are, Mr McGill is its name and i really dont know where they all come from, you never hear about them untill they are on the tv! This one has the makings of a good cast, Nighy, Courtenay and Holden, yes Amanda Holden, I am maybe seeing now why this film has never came up on my radar. I'm a Cyborg, But thats OK is on at 11.50 on C4 tonight also, its billed as a comedy but i am not so sure it will blow your socks off, its a Korean film by the director of Oldboy (and the other 2 from his vengeance trilogy) I shall be recording it as its a bit late for me but is certainly looks interesting.

Also returning tonight is The Gadget Show on five. Its like top Gear for technology and is surprisingly addictive, anyway tonights show looks at 3D tellys and with the glut of 3D movies which are to be released in the near future its wortha wee look i think. 8pm.

Good baseball movie on film4 tonight at 7. Bad News Bears, which was remade a few years ago with Billy Bob in the adult role, has Walter Mathau in this the original. He takes on a kids team of ne'er do wells in the hope to find success, comedy ensues. Trust me, if it made it to these shores then it cant be half bad, i have noted a paragraph up about the crap British films that seem to appear on the tv, well there will be ten a penny baseball films over in the states we see nothing of, and that god! stay with film4 all night if you wish as Planet of the Apes follows, Tim Burtons version which isnt as bad as made out i think, then Kung Fu Hustle which is a riot. At time of posting this i dont know whether its dubbed or subtitles, wither way its a pish laugh though! The only other thing of note i can spot is Drop Zone on itv4 at 10pm, a Wesley Snipes actioner (is this a word?) which also stars the original and best Busey, Gary not Jake.

Tuesday 10th Mar 09

Charles Bronson seems to be the order of the day on normal TV as with a lack of films showing his biopic seems to be covered on the tv shows that are on. This Morning has the star of the film Tom Hardy telling Phil and Fern what it was like to play one of Britains most notorious prisoners and then Film 2009 is reviewing it. 10.30am and 11.05pm respectively. And thats it, normal tv dissapoints.

its down to digital to save Tuesday and gladly it does, its not laden with stuff no but it covers all bases, its Champions league day for ITV so ITV4 follows its game with Rambo: 1st Blood. Its down as 10pm but extra time and penalties may play havoc with that so keep em peeled, testosterone highs alround. I admittedly think Rambo is pants but i have been assured that i am wrong on this count and that time has blunted my opinion, its been some ten years or more since i seen it, so I will give it another go, the two sequels are on the following two nights also. To compensate for bloke vision on STV and ITV4, ITV2 has tried to redress the balance, by screeneing womens shows during the football hours, two hour long pieces of tat with paris Hilton then Coleen Rooney are followed by Bridget Jones 2, which actually doesnt call its self Bridget jones 2 rather Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason. I also want to pick out Hamburger Hill on fiveUSA (9pm) as it is probably my favourite Vietnam movie and also Short Cuts on film4 at 11pm as its a work of genius.

Wednesday 11th Mar 09

Another day of not much to go on but at least some features appear in the schedules, BBC1 has a thriller at 10.45 called Bad Company starring Anthony Hopkins, so far so good but it co-stars Chris Rock and centres around a murdered secret agents streetwise twin brother who is recruited to take his place and its at this point where worry creeps in. But all this sounds better than Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo which is fives movie at 10pm.

FiveUSA do an interesting thing on a Wednesday night, they show their prime time 9pm film shown on the nest night at a later 11pmish slot. For example, this week its the Longest Yard, a Adam Sandler remake of a Burt Reynolds American football film, its on at 11pm on Wed but also 9pm on the Thurs. What is good about it is for some people 9pm is a bit troublesome to watch things, theya re night hawks and prefer to kick off a little later so this does them a wee favour, a not bad flick on that wee bit later. Cheers to fiveUSA.

Thursday 12th Mar 09

Ok, i boobed something rotten last week when i failed to spot that C4 trilogy of good dark dramas was starting, the ads have been on for weeks and its my own fault for failing to spot it, i am making amend now though so there. Red Riding continues tonight at 9pm. It follows on from last weeks episode/tv movie which can be watched still for another few weeks on channel 4's website in the catch up bit, thats where i am headed after i finish this as i not only failed to flag it, i also failed to catch it when it was on!

On digital were going to go with Batman at 9pm on film4, Tim Burtons 1989 effort seems strange now in light of Christopher Nolan's entries into the fray. What with the lurid colours and the dancing, yes dancing its nothing like the murky darkness of Batmans latest incarnation, Its worth another look though to campare and contrast i feel. Plus, there isn't much else on the ol digital!

Futurama: Into The Wild Green Yonder

And so we come to the last Futurama film, and possibly the final Futurama period. It'll be a shame if Matt Groening's finest creation (yeah I went there!) is finished but this is a fitting finale if it comes to pass. This one sees Amy's dad looking to knock out a full arm of the Milky Way so he can construct the galaxy's biggest miniature golf course. Queue much environmental messages, there's been a lot of those in these new Futuramas, but also a lot of Green campaigner bashing too.

Plot-wise this is the strongest of the four films with it feeling the most "film-like" of the bunch. The opening on Mars Vegas still feels superfluous though as beyond a few scenes that establish the story proper most of it doesn't serve the plot, such as Bender's tryst with Donbot's woman and Fry entering a poker tournament. That's not to say that this segment isn't very funny as it features more of the sort of throwaway gags that you've come to expect from Futurama. When the plot gets going these dry up somewhat. The whole thing is very amusing but it isn't quite as laugh out loud funny as the show usually tends to be.

This isn't a problem though as the plotting and set pieces are fantastic and yet again there are some wonderful ideas going on that shamefully I can't write about or it would ruin the film. Safe to say that it's the most cohesive and well-plotted of the latter Futuramas and although it doesn't quite have the laughs of the others it's probably the best of the lot. Shamefully this may well be Futurama's last hurrah, but it's a bloody good one if it is.

My Name Is Bruce: The Review

Well it has been thoroughly watched from start to finish and here are my thoughts;

It's puerile, stupid, has racially stereotypical characters, the plot's pretty much the same as Three Amigoes, flat direction, poor acting, poorer special effects, a cheap looking monster, the plot's pretty much the same as Galaxy Quest, geographically stereotypical characters, a corny love story, dick jokes, fart jokes, hundreds of references to bad Bruce Campbell films, it's damn cheesy, it features gay cowboys, the plot's pretty much the same as A Bug's Life, guy drinks piss and complains that it's warm joke, no nudity, corn syrup all over the place,

AND I FUCKING LOVED IT!!!

And I bet you won't. Because you like "proper" movies that don't star Bruce Campbell as himself fighting a Chinese God of war. What a boring life you must lead.

Splice Movies T.W.A.T.

Weekend Movies T.W.A.T. 6th - 8th March 09

T.W.A.T. means to watch avec telly. This is the Spice Guide to whats on telly thats filmy. Read it and post some comments, what you watched, what you didnt, tell me to stop posting thins crap, your choice.

Avec means "with" i know that but rather than "on" and make it T.W.O.T. its T.W.A.T. cos its aesthetically more pleasing.Another weekend has rolled itself around so here is where to find out what is coming up on the telly if your staying in. Or rather you could probably check the papers too, they have the tv listings, yeah! But it doesnt have the same spin on it you will read here so forget the national press and read on.

Friday 6th Mar 09

Get this one in your diaries, QI, the quiz show with Stephen Fry is on tonight in its regular 9pm slot and this week since its series F the subject is film! Hooray! Prepare to be astounded. Also worth look is Friday Night with Johnathan Ross as his guest is Michael C Hall who is magnificent in both Dexter and Six Feet Under. Right enough straight telly talk, whats the films on offer i hear you cry. The answer; Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Well you asked for it. For what its worth this film is pure tripe, but i am sure you either already know that or can make an educated guess. Its 11.40 if you need to see it. Five minutes earlier over on cash strapped ITV Empire is on, the guy that played Luigi in the Super Mario Bros film is in it, it might be alright actually.

9pm on Sky3 sees movie time in the shape of Infected. This has the year in brackets beside it and the year is 2008 meaning only one thing; this is some piece of straight to video guff! Saving grace? Judd Nelson is in it. John Bender as i live and breath. 10pm however could leave you in a quandry as some bonefide stoaters duke it out plus a Jim Bond one on ITV4. The titans about to clash are more4 with Patriot Games, a decent action thriller, e4 with the simply stunning Zoolander and ITV3 with a all time lazy Sunday favourite of mine Overboard. Ultimately its your decision but if i was to sway you it would be toward Kurt Russell essentially kidnapping Goldie Hawn to teach her a lesson in Overboard. Marvel at how this almost seemed like the right thing to do but would be Daily Mailed to death if it was remade!

Saturday 7th Mar 09

England get the FA cup on this fine Saturday afternoon, while in Scotland we get The Rare Breed, a 1966 film starring James Stewart about cows and bulls and that. Nice. So thats 12noon for us Scots, stick it in your diaries. Five has a cult classic at 3.20, Who’s Harry Crumb? An often overlooked piece of John Candy’s canon much like the similarly great What About Bob? form Bill Murray’s. WAB isn’t on though incase your confused, WHC is. In the evening the late BBC1 movie is Ladder 49 which is about firemen and is probably polished enough and not use up any real energy to watch so in essence a perfect late night flick. Channel4 has A Man Apart which is much the same as Ladder 49 in spirit but with Vin Diesel. BBC2 are showing something a bit left field though (as they tend to do on a Saturday gladly) A Prairie Home Companion I dont remember making a huge splash in the UK but the cast looks solid and its a comedy about a radio station so i think i will give it a try. 11.15.

ITV3 are getting another look in for showing 80’s forgotten nuggets, this time its the Michael J Fox one The Secret of my Success, to remind you, its the one where he pumps his aunt without knowing its his aunt and orchestrates the couple throught he wall shagging. 2.45 in the afternoon. At night its a battle between big fat steaming piles of garbage BBC3 has The Lake House, ITV3; The Guru (shame on you ITV3 after me praising you to the hilt) five USA; Fortress. Allon at times between 9 and 10 pm. Guff the lot of them. Virgin1 however have a classic to save the night. Rain Man. 9pm.

Sunday 8th Mar 09

I like to describe myself as ambidextrous when it comes to my film comedy, I love a sly piece of satire as much as the next man, but i also dont turn my nose up at stuff which should only be funny to 12 year old boys and with that in mind i implore you to watch The Benchwarmers at half 6 on five. Its a hoot, the only downside i felt was John Heder who i think actually really irritates me, maybe because i never really got napoleon Dynamite? I dont know, but this Benchwarmers thing is worth a watch. On C4 later is another sports based movie (Benchwarmers is baseball) this time is football or since its an American film, Soccer. She’s the Man sees a soccer mad chick dress up as a guy to play fitba only to fall in love with a teammate who thinks she is a guy and have a burd fall in love with her thinking she is a guy. Oh aye, the guy that he/she fancies actually fancies the burd who fancies the he/she. Clear as mud. A love triangle with fitba. Its a chick flick (horrible horrible phrase) but Amanda Bynes is a wee cracker so we’ll maybe have a wee peek. After that C4 have another film, Elizabethtown, the Cameron Crowe film thats not quite as famous as his others. BBC1’s late movie is Deathtrap, an old film starring Michael Caine and Christopher Reeve, Michael Caine films are a troubling breed, i actually have no idea where this one fits into the pantheon but i thought i would flag it regardless.

If you get up rather early due to a hangover and switch on ITV3 at 10am you can watch To Kill a Mockingbird, thats alright isn’t it, not often you get that as a treat. Moving on through the afternoon, 1pm on film4 can show you why i dont get Napoleon Dynamite as its on! this is actually a good idea to watch if you plan on seeing Benchwarmers because if i recall its because he seems to just play John Heder playing Napoleon Dynamite playing whatever character is in the particular film and that irritates me. Anyway, two hours free after it finishes so make your dinner cos at 5pm on fiveUSA has The Medallion which is a Jackie Chan American vehicle and 7pm on BBC3 has Meet the Parents which is funny. This Sunday is shaping up nicely and now you have an hour to get a shower and prepare yourself for the night shift, which comprises of Lock Up on ITV4 (10pm) (Sly Stallone in the prison one which isnt Tango and Cash) and then if you turn over to Dave while the credits come up you wont miss any of Dark Angel starring Dolph Lundgren which starts at 10 past 12. Now with all that taken in over the course of a Sunday you will have plenty and i mean plenty to talk about at your work come Monday. No need to thank me.

CT 7 March 19th

The new Cinematic Titanic is out March 19th and they're doing Blood Of The Vampires as this trailer will explain:



I didn't really need to type all that did I? Anyway reports from live performances of this one say it's a gem. Not long to wait to find out!

Splice Movies T.W.A.T.

Here is what i left off mondays movie T.W.A.T. post that i promised for today.

Wed 4th Mar 09

Have you ever watched Jack and Sawyer and Kate and Locke et al in the tv phenomenon Lost? Have you ever watched an episode and saw someone in a flashback for instance who was so familiar let not so you typed in Lost into the old Imdb website to check out who it is (Locke’s dad is the guy from Roadhouse by the way) well when you type it in then the TV series shows up and also a film from the year 2004 starring Dean Cain well this film is on tonight at 5 past 12 on bbc1, no idea what its about or anything just recognised it from imdb and thought i would share. Other stuff on worth noting is channel4 at 1.15, C4 like to stick a wee indie movie in during the night which is great, sometimes you get a wee gem, however a lot of them now have sign language which is irritating. tonight’s one is The Safety of Objects which is about unhappy suburban americans, sounds about right!

Once Upon a Time in the Midlands is on film4 too, 11.05. Shane Meadows, what a guy!

Thurs 5th Mar 09

What a swizz Thursday is i have to say, Will Smith season continues on fiveUSA with Men II Black at 9, weird way of writing it and all. On normal telly, there is only one thing on, 10pm on five, BLOODSPORT! Bloodsport, no more needs to be said.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog: The DVD

The Dr. Horrible DVD's a bit of a hard sell. The film's only forty two minutes long and it's freely available online, as was intended by creator Joss Whedon. Don't get me wrong, it's the usual Whedon-y goodness in which Neil Patrick Harris plays Dr. Horrible, the arch nemesis of Nathan Fillion's Captain Hammer. Horrible keeps a video blog on his evil doing that gets derailed thanks to his love for Penny (Felicia Day) who he sees down the local laundrette. Oh, and it's also a musical. It's well worth seeing, but as I said, you can do so online for free.

As such unless you don't have access to a computer the DVD is really all about the extras, and as such that's what I'm actually reviewing. There's the pretty standard making of and trailer plus a commentary involving pretty much everyone involved that's funny and informative. The real gems of the package are a thirty minute showcase of fan made videos in which they apply to join the Evil League Of Evil, there's some very funny and genuinely well produced stuff here, and Commentary! The Musical. This is the main reason to own the DVD. It's a commentary track that's performed as if it were also part of the musical and works as a very funny parody of them. There's some brilliant stuff on it, the highlight of which is one of the female producers bemoaning the fact that Asians are the only minority to be shoved into the background in TV and film, her case seemingly being confirmed as she was only allowed to play one of Captain Hammer's stalker fans in the film.

So that's your lot. Commentary! The Musical is brilliant and is well worth hearing but it's really up to you if that's enough to part with your hard earned cash. If you are a big Joss Whedon fan it should be noted that everything to do with Dr. Horrible, including the DVD, is self-produced so buying it is a way to support him if you feel like doing so.

It Is Upon Us!

What? Well if you need to ask that then you haven't been privy to my schoolgirl about to meet Ronan Keating-like giddiness have you? Today saw the release in the UK of My Name Is Bruce on DVD, a film that is surely destined to be the greatest thing EVER!

Or not, whatever, it has Bruce Campbell in it for fuck's sake. That should be enough.

Anyway I don't have it yet as I pre-ordered on Amazon. Imagine my horror then when I was in my local WH Smith and they had it! I thought they'd be too bloody snobby for a Campbell Joint and so went ahead and got it online. Ach well, it just means I'll come home to find a Brucey Bonus waiting for me later this week.

Rest assured I'll watch and review the hell out of it!

Splice Movies T.W.A.T.

Midweek Movies T.W.A.T. 2nd Mar - 5th Mar 09

T.W.A.T. means to watch avec telly. This is the Spice Guide to whats on telly thats filmy. Read it and post some comments, what you watched, what you didnt, tell me to stop posting thins crap, your choice.

Avec means "with" i know that but rather than "on" and make it T.W.O.T. its T.W.A.T. cos its aesthetically more pleasing.Another weekend has rolled itself around so here is where to find out what is coming up on the telly if your staying in. Or rather you could probably check the papers too, they have the tv listings, yeah! But it doesnt have the same spin on it you will read here so forget the national press and read on.

Monday 2nd Mars 09

A Time to Kill is on bbc1 at 11.15 tonight and guess what, its a decent John Grisham adaptation! Trust me when i say that there is a good few Grisham adapts and by and large they suck, the Chamber being a massive disappointment, but this, this one is good. C4 have phone booth on a little earlier at 11 however and this is perfect for if you have work then next day, why? Only because its one of the shortest films in the last few years! Its on commercial telly and stil comes in under 2hrs, thats just grand. Also on council telly is Police Story (11pm , five) is it just me or is it wrong that our inteligence is insulted in some papers and guides when they billit as Jackie Chans Police Story as if we wouldnt know it already, i mean we all knew exactly what it was aiming at when we read it didn't we? wrong wrong wrong!

Prime time viewing on the digi telly has ITV2 showing Chronicles of Riddick at 9pm, this is the follow up sort of of Pitch Black, which was really rather good though i havent heard too many good things about this, what has really happened to Vin Diesel, remember he presented the European Music Awards in Edinburgh years ago? what will happen to Katy Perry then in years to come? heres hoping its porn.

Film4 have a wee bit of a rotoscoping evening happening with Richard Linklaters two efforts using it back to back, A Scanner Darkly then its predecessor, in style not content, Waking Life. Rotoscoping to the uninitiated is when the live action is painted over frame by frame to make it look animated, it looks cool when done right and this is it done right. bbc4 continue its Hitchcock week, a week i never actually realised was a week until today with Stage Fright then a another wee doco. Nice.

Oh i must mention that sky3 is showing Aztec Rex again so if you missed it on Friday then dont miss it tonight, read the weekend TWAT to see what i am talking about. USually wouldnt mention a repeat on digi channel but when it comes to Aztec Rex exceptions can be made!

Tuesday 3rd Mar 09

normal telly is showing jack shit except Film 2009, which is notable because they are reviewing Watchmen and it spilce friends looks ace! also after film 2009 some British piece of fluff is on, The One and Only, I dont think i have ever heard of it but get the feeling my ever so slight insomnia might lead to me catching a bit of it so i thought i would flag it up anyway.

Digital telly is where its at this fine Tuesday as its Hollywood gold all the way! Panic Room (9pm) on fiveUSA for instance? ITV4 showing Escape from LA then Boyz in the Hood back2back form 10 past 10? film4 showing Independance Day (9pm)? The choice is yours, eacha nd every one is a bone fide winner!

PSome points on a few of them however, what exactly is in a long neck that the guys in Boyz in the Hood and such films drink? and also, who remembers wehn Independance Day was like the biggest thing ever to happen in any given summer? oh and the video box had a hologram thing of the White House which when you moved it left or right it showed the White House on the cusp of blowing up or actually blowing up. Small joys, frankly you can stick your bluray up your arse, holograms such as that are much better than seeing folks plooks cos of the extremly good quality of HD!

Wed 4th Mar 09 and 4th Mar 09 will appear on these pages on Wed about sixish.