2D Or Not 2D

Hollywood, California and studio execs at all the major movie players are looking at ways to increase revenues during such a hard financial time. Whilst 3D, and in particular James Cameron's Avatar, has proved a worthy money spinner this is still not enough to keep Tinseltown's party thriving. Execs have realised that profits on 3D films could be doubled if there was more of a "wow factor" for the audience.

Explains one Splice source; "The problem with 3D so far is that although it flies out right at your face so does the rest of reality. Plus reality has form and doesn't suffer from things being cut in half in mid-air by dodgy framing. As such many people simply respond to 3D with a 'meh'."

The studio execs have identified a simple fix to this situation. They plan to lobby governments around the world hard to make reality 2D. Says the shadowy source; "If reality is all flat and stuff suddenly a 3D movie is the most incredible thing ever! think about it, nothing in your life sticks out whatsoever and then you go to see a film for some escapism and BLAM! the film vomits from the screen in your general direction. Profits should increase at least two-fold".

The film studios won't find it easy to make this flat experience a reality if previous form is anything to go by. A move to have reality sepia toned when colour was introduced ended in disaster when two people in the small Iowa town used as a test case died thanks to being elergic to the cuttlefish juice added to the town's water supply. The experiment involving individual pyrex bubbles that cut out exterior noise around the introduction of sound had even greater tragedy surrounding it. Any flattening procedure will have to be proven non-fatal.