Splice Movies T.W.A.T.

Midweek 16th - 19th Feb 09

Splice from now on brings you a regular update on movies and the like of sort of thing that you can watch from the comfort of your own settee. Movie T.W.A.T. means movies to (T) watch (W) avec (A) tv (T). Now i know what your thinking, avec means with, well yes it does but TWOT with the o for on but really TWAT is far more childishly funny so avec it is. Movies to watch with tv: Movie T.W.A.T. See?

basically it will cover all films wortha look on terrestial tv and also freeview, plus anything else which might be deemed worthy by us. Also your attention will be brought to whenever a cheese hero of the movies makes a appearance on the box. seagal, JCVD, Swayze, etc.

soon i will boil all that info down into something much more managelble but for now...

Right here goes, Monday the 16th is tonight and tonight we have a rake of good stuff, American Cousins is on BBC1, its a cracking wee scottish movie written by a guy i and red have met, a certain Sergio Casci. We met him at university, (he did a lecture, he wasnt a clasmate) and he was a top bloke. Truth is we were asked to watch the film before we met him so my thoughts on it are based on own opinion and not simply cos the Casci is a cracking guy. Its on after midnight though so it'l be a late one. Also on late is John Woo's the Killer which is dove releasingly amazing, if you cant wait up all night watch the opening scene just until he recovers his hidden guns in the plant pots. Stunning.

earlier at a more prime time Vinny Jones plays a footballer in Mean Machine (CH4 10pm) which isnt all that bad, jason Statham is the tits and the more movies you see him in you more realise that he will be the JCVD of years to come. Seagal as a cook on a boat is Under Seige on E4 with that burd from Baywatch jumping out a cake and Tommy Lee Jones good as the baddie. Fiver (possibly the gayest name for a tv channel ever) has Go at 9pm and its def worth a watch but if you miss it no biggy, these channels show the same pump every couple of days or weeks.

Tuesday 17th is a bit lighter, Drama with her from saved by the bell that got her bits out in Showgirls years ago (what one?) in Student Seduction is on BBC1 at quarter to 2, dunno whether its worth staying up for mind you. Film 2009 is on earlier though it still has Jonathan Ross, not that i dont like him, i do, however i thought the Splice effort at taking over wasnt given the chance it deserves, one mans opinion thats all. The Culture show on BBC2 at 10pm has kermode talking Oscars so thats worth a look.

KickBoxer is on Five USA (renamed from fiveus aas of Monday weirdly) at nine, always wortha look even if your only tuning in back and forward. Silence of the Lambs is on ITV2 too at 10.

Wednesday 18th has sleeping with the Enemy on five at 10pm. I remember this being huge in the 90s, probably is pants though, Julia Roberts as a abused wife and crazy guy who fixes the tins in the cupboard, aye, prob is pants. BBC has there cracking series Movie Connections on tonight and this week its Local Hero. I only watched this for first time a few weeks ago and it is fantastic! So i shall watch this with interest. Bowfinger is worth a look on ITV2.

I should also tell you that Patrick Swayze's new series starts tonight on FiveUSA. Beast its called and thats all i know, but its Swayze as an FBI agent, what can go wrong? BBC4 has Oscar winner Tsotsi from a few years ago. Powerful South African Stuff.

Thursday 19th. Here we go, holy mince film alert, True Identity on BBC1 is an early 90s film starring Lenny Henry at the peak of his popularity, we thought he was Eddie Murphy so we made him play awhite guy and a black guy, genuis. So bad its bad. half 11 is when to get the telly turned over. Apart from that a JCVD double bill on ITV4 from 9pm has Hard Target and Nowhere to run and Five USA kicks off its Will Smith season with Bad Boys II which while not as good as the first one is alright. Word of warning though, it has adverts and was already far too long, this will seem like Once Upon a Time in America with the N word said loads and sunsets galore. God bless Michael Bay.