CT: Legacy Of Blood

If you've heard of Legacy Of Blood, and why the hell would you have, then you'll know it's one freaky mama-jama of a movie. You'll also know it's effin' awful. Made about the same time as that great "worst movie ever" candidate Manos: The Hands Of Fate, Legacy Of Blood is similar in the sense that the acting's terrible, the camera work severely flawed, the audio is out of sync and the script is all over the shop. Oh, and it's trippy and you know for a fact that the guys who made it thought it was deep and edgy.

Realistically it's mind-numbing and nauseating. This is the type of film that introduces a character to have made a lamp out of skin and has a thing for Nazi memorabilia purely so you suspect that he's the killer, when in a way he's actually the hero. Mind you that's probably because he's the closest to a likable character, and trust me when I say he isn't. The rest are conniving bags of shit who appear to maybe be doing each other whether they are related or not or the victims of the big Daddy's sex games.

Basically it's a sleazy mess of a movie that actually has one of the most standard plotlines you could hope for, the "spend the night in a haunted house to gain your inheritance" one. This time it's a mad murderer going about instead of a monster/ghost, although the "ghosts of the past" are haun...oh fuck it. This movie's abysmal and doesn't deserve the word count afforded it so far. It may even have been fun if it wasn't so wrong in so many ways. Of course it being terrible plays right into the hands of the Titans as the movie serves up straight fastballs over the plate time and again for them to pummel all hell out of.

The riffing on this one is pretty brilliant. The Titans are getting more slick, although there are still the odd wooden deliveries in there, and the writing is getting stronger with each film. As I said the film helps as it serves up many things for them to savage, such as a severed head in the fridge, incest, Johhny in a fish tank, skin lamps, old women trying to be sexual, young women unable to stop being sexual and John Carradine. Plus there's oddball servents, wispy back hair, death by bees and a shocking series of twists neither twisty nor shocking.

As I said it's sleazy, and a wee bit gory and violent as well. It's a gear shift from the dull Wasp Woman film, although to be fair to that it is the best film featured on CT so far thanks to Corman actually having some ability as a director. It's closest in tone to Oozing Skull which was also a grubby little micro-budget production and highlights that CT's main concerns may be the absolute arse-end of cinema, delving even lower than MST3K ever did, mainly because it can thanks to being a DVD/download show.

All in all this is another excellent installment of Cinematic Titanic. At this point the show has really found its feet and is delivering some very strong, hilarious material. Also the less is more approach, the opposite of Rifftrax which has been labouring a bit thanks to a hectic release schedule, has certainly helped to keep things fresh. At this point each installment is worth the wait.

You can order Cinematic Titanic: Legacy Of Blood here.

Hang on! I've just realised, Legacy Of Blood's meant to be a comedy! I mean look at it. You telling me that's a serious film? And if you do read it that way then it's...er...still bloody awful, so who really cares.

Dodgy wink to camera, and out.