Just a quick post to say that I watched this excellent documentary from the droll comedian the other night. It explores how the American south has been depicted by various media, mainly focusing on Hollywood's negative stereotypes about the place.
It's well worth checking out, as anyone who saw his earlier Westerns film will know, and it further sets Hall out as a genuinely interesting writer on film, amongst other things.
The Dirty South can be viewed on the BBC iPlayer here (UK IP address needed) until 25th July 2010.
It's the thirtieth anniversary today of what surely is the funniest film of all time Airplane! (it is and don't call me Shirley). But did you know that it's effectively a remake of a disaster movie called Zero Hour!? A-ha, it is and here's a video that compares scenes from both movies:
So if anyone tells you that there is never merit in remaking something you now have the perfect ammunition beyond the usual suspects (The Thing, The Fly). Airplane!, not only the greatest comedy ever, the greatest remake as well.
(thanks to Ken Plume for the link, follow him on Twitter at @KenPlume he's great and does a lot of interesting podcasts with many famous names, plus he's a comedy Anglophile so he's totally up with the hip Brit scene)
Ruud went and sent me this link and I thought I'd post it. Film critic Mark Kermode decides to not rant in his review of Sex In The City 2 on BBC radio. He fails.
Hollywood, California and studio execs at all the major movie players are looking at ways to increase revenues during such a hard financial time. Whilst 3D, and in particular James Cameron's Avatar, has proved a worthy money spinner this is still not enough to keep Tinseltown's party thriving. Execs have realised that profits on 3D films could be doubled if there was more of a "wow factor" for the audience.
Explains one Splice source; "The problem with 3D so far is that although it flies out right at your face so does the rest of reality. Plus reality has form and doesn't suffer from things being cut in half in mid-air by dodgy framing. As such many people simply respond to 3D with a 'meh'."
The studio execs have identified a simple fix to this situation. They plan to lobby governments around the world hard to make reality 2D. Says the shadowy source; "If reality is all flat and stuff suddenly a 3D movie is the most incredible thing ever! think about it, nothing in your life sticks out whatsoever and then you go to see a film for some escapism and BLAM! the film vomits from the screen in your general direction. Profits should increase at least two-fold".
The film studios won't find it easy to make this flat experience a reality if previous form is anything to go by. A move to have reality sepia toned when colour was introduced ended in disaster when two people in the small Iowa town used as a test case died thanks to being elergic to the cuttlefish juice added to the town's water supply. The experiment involving individual pyrex bubbles that cut out exterior noise around the introduction of sound had even greater tragedy surrounding it. Any flattening procedure will have to be proven non-fatal.
That's right, the studio who first brought the age-old shape shifting lycanthrope myth the silver screen are being accused of ripping off Twilight. You see in this version of reality, that probably exists in more than just this Twilight fan's mind, Stephanie Meyer created werewolves and the studio have done her vision a great dis-service by choosing to remake the sexy, Taylor Lautner-like puppy dogs as mutant hell-beasts that can "ridiculously" be killed by silver bullets. Those bastards!
And how dare Universal give werewolves a bad name! What next, a vampire film that shows them to be evil creatures who feast on the blood of the innocent, use their sexual prowess to woo busty maidens and explode in sunlight? As we all know they sparkle, invite you 'round for dinner and generally brood in a corner of your room while you sleep.
*Thanks to Joshway for posting the link to this on his Twitter. Follow him, for he knows werewolves should have killer abs.
Welcome to another year in review by my good self. Like last year, this is far more involved that it would have been if I had actually review films at the time. Last years lesson was not learnt. Enjoy regardless.
January
Role Models Jane Lynch does my head in and could have easily ruined this for me. However this is a decent comedy film. Actually its quite hilarious, so I wont let her. Now lets see, the four man lead men are cracking, the two adults are funny and the kids are hilarious. Oh and I look like Christopher Mintz-Plasse in his Kiss make up at the end. it’s a harsh reality I am dealing with right now. I get called McLovin quite a lot which technically isn’t right but arguing over that small point seems futile.
(8) Slumdog Millionaire Worthy winner of all it won, what a cracking movie, I remember way back when it was released a film fan friend of mine said as soon as he had seen it that it was the best film he had ever seen, dunno really if he still stand by that, but as soon as the credits roll the first time you see it, you can be forgiven for that being the first thought to enter your head. Beautiful to look at, great performances, funny but also harrowing in parts.
(3) The Wrestler There are so many nice wee details in this, such as his own wresting figure, the old NES computer game and the insight into his cutting, however the one I loved the best was when he started his new job on the meat counter in the supermarket and the noise of the crowd grew as he made his way from the (supermarket) locker-room to his place of business (hairnet et al) it made me smile. See its such an interesting topic for a man of my age and status and it really is a good film. Mickey Rourke is fantastic in his role and really should have bagged an Oscar to go with his Golden Globe. But it wasn’t to be.
Rachel Getting Married A difficult watch, I think I have been watching too many bigger budget films that this films indie sensibilities kind of jars. But as it moves on I found it quite affecting and I instantly jumped on line when I got home to look up this film to find out some theories on some unanswered (for me) aspects of the film. The music is good and some of the funnier moments had me laughing out loud though in no way is it a comedy.
Revolutionary Road Another difficult watch, the reason being that the two main characters are so unappealing. Neither one has anything for you to cling onto and follow through. They are both so unlikeable. I wished neither any real happiness as I went through watching it. It is a nice film to look at however. Very Mad Men.
February
Bolt Some excellent sight gags. Actually some really really excellent sight gags. A good movie for kids which I enjoyed immensely. All the characters are good and none are particularly annoying which is very impressive. The hamster is awesome.
Push Well is this not a decent low budget (in comparison to others in the genre) superhero flick. Set in Hong Kong it was always gonna be a winner for me but the premise behind it is great, super powered superheroes, government spooks, potential superhero armies. Well written, nice set up. Chris Evans is good, Dakota Fanning is good. Hope this gets sequels because as a setting up original it shows great promise.
(4) Watchmen So this seems like it is the natural amalgamation of the superhero comic book adaptation world. With the costumes it seems like Christopher Reeve in Superman and with the dark storylines it seems like Chris Nolan’s Dark Knight. But the big swinging blue dongs? that’s certainly new. This was a genuine joy to see at the cinema (12 foot dongs aside) and everything about it felt good, it was really well done. The music too was fantastic. Alan Moore has had his stuff shat on a fair bit but this one was done well.
He’s Just Not That Into You Trash, I just don’t know what his is supposed to be. So many funny folk in it form funny films and tv shows and they are just simpering messes. Is this supposed to be a comedy or maybe something else, a drama maybe? But its not very dramatic. Only if you are mad would you (want to) associate yourself with anyone in this. Scarlett Johansson’s chest is awesome though. Woo!
March
Big fat nothing this month.
April
Fast and Furious Do you know what? I actually liked this a fair bit. It was good to look at and never taxed my mind too much. Sometimes that’s all a viewer needs. I still don’t understand why they billed it as the return of the original four though. Paul Walker and Vin Diesel yes, the two burds? Er, no. Happily I am not wasting anything for anyone who hasn’t seen it by saying that their input is brushed aside promptly and the muscle-bound gear-head homo-erotica is brought front and centre and stays there till the credits roll.
I Love You, Man I’m not too sure about this Paul Rudd chap. Some think he is poised to take over comedy flicks in the leading man spot but not me. He is good and all but at no point do I think to myself, I wanna be like Paul Rudd in that film, take this for example, I know he plays the friendless character well but I just don’t get that feeling, that bromantic feeling I think is essential for a guy to feel about his leading man. Am I making sense? Is that a fair point. I might look further into that point this year actually, guys need to secretly fancy the leading man to connect fully! I think I have hit upon something here. Anyway, decent film apart from me fancying the lead guy (this is taking a weird direction) however Jason Seigel is awesome.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine I read the comic books before seeing this which is not something I usually do but I never knew that this is what its based on. Actually its not, the pre credits are based on it but even then its kind of wrong. No matter, they set up the film which is fine. However the film is a bit of a mess. Wolverine is such a great character its good that he got this film and it sets up a sequel well (Japanese samurai story please) but its so all over the place as a film in its own right. A lot of characters are introduced but not enough are expanded. The Deadpool character was talked up then let down. The other mutants only get slim pickings, there seems to be too many thrown in but not enough with a real purpose. But the action was good. I didn’t like the claws, they looked to fake I thought, a small aesthetic bone to pick. It could have been better, the sequel I have high hopes for. Oh and Liev Schrieber was fantastic in it, as he is a lot of things though he made the most out of it because his character was almost sidelined too much too.
May
(2) Star Trek I have never really been a Star Trek fan, my mate Stewart was, and still is I guess, I used to point and laugh at him and his trekker status. Now I haven’t changed my mind and now find myself ready to start watching all the series of the different crews and all that, however like him now, I do look forward immensely to the follow up to the new rebooted film. Because JJ Abrams version of events is simply brilliant! It reminds me of a kind of Oceans 11 in space, getting the gang altogether, those sort of films are always enjoyable, but it was the way it folded the history of the characters we all know into this new reboot. Its done so deftly in a time travelling style which is ingenious but also quite easy to follow. It also caters for those who aren’t as immersed in the Trek lore as others. I mean I am sure there are subtle things for the big fans but for me, (a man who knows that there is a guy called spock who has pointy ears, the captain is James T Kirk and there is a Russian somewhere, a doctor called Bones and Scotty who has a Scottish accent and does the beam up) the way they are all introduced is informative and the familiar stock lines of “I’m a doctor Jim” and Scotty mentions Dilithium chambers and such are actually really funny. Its so well cast, its so well directed, its great fun, I loved it. Star Trek 2 as soon as possible please.
Fighting This was more than a little rubbish, a crap story about a street fighter who after beating up a couple of halfwits gets taken on as a paid underworld street fighter for big bucks. He gets interested in some girl who surely cant be interested in him back cos he can hardly talk, but does, but she has something to do with his booker/mentor then they get offered even bigger bucks for a fight, he has dad issues and Ternece Howard has a really weird accent throughout. Its just a bit of a mess.
(10) Synedoche, New York I just don’t think I am clever enough to know exactly what a Charlie Kaufman film is all about but that doesn’t stop me enjoying it. Turns out this is all about a disease or something and that there is all sorts of clues to follow that particular theme through it that are completely obtuse to me. Clues like Hoffman’s characters name I have learned since is actually the diseases name. But as I say, I liked this and there is lots to like, curious oddities such as a woman who lives in a house that is burning down to the actually crux of the story of a theatre director trying to produce his masterpiece which is a slice of real life in a full scale version of New York built inside a warehouse hold your interest. This is definitely a film that will improve over repeat viewings as more and more things coem to the fore that maybe didn’t before.
June
Last Chance Harvey A love story for older folks but one that can probably resonate with lots of younger people too, separated families being a common occurrence these days. Also plays on aspects of loneliness which we all feel from time to time. A nice film.
(1) The Hangover Funniest film of the year and also the best film of the year. If you have ever been on a stag party abroad or wherever this is just a totally exaggerated but still quite real depiction of the weird madness that (in my experience) seems to happen and to make a riotous comedy film of that makes sense. Also it was interesting to see a comedy work so well as a whodunnit. The lead actors hold it together brilliantly with a special mention to Bradley Cooper who I thought was irritating as anything in The Wedding Crashers but in this is super cool and actually fulfils the remit I mentioned in the I Love You, Man bit abover where the bromance is there. You definitely want to be him and if you cant then you would like to be his pal. Las Vegas as a locale was also an eye opener, maybe I am naïve but in my mind it was always the gambling that I focused on, the party aspect though is now on my radar. Must visit it soon. There really is so many funny quips and scenes, and its good to see progression from directors whose work was good before but seems to have got better. Looking forward to a repeat viewing.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Oh man. The swinging balls on one of the Decepticons in this film were the same as the swinging through the jungle with the monkeys scene from last years Indy. IE the scenes that kinda ruined it for me. I was willing to overlook the crap plot and everything as it was cool to look at and a real popcorn munching blockbuster. I really was. But the balls just made me think why? Why did he put them in? so stupid. Hopefully the third one is better.
July
The Proposal In Canada this film was promoted pretty heavily as a Canadian playing an American (Reynolds) and an American playing a Canadian (Bullock) and the romantic tomfoolery that ensues. I think they did this because the product actually is a bit pants. Its not bad but not particularly good either. The leading pairs chemistry is kinda rubbish but Betty White is funny, she was a Golden Girl many years ago, I used to watch that. But as I say a film that promotes itself on the odd casting seems doomed to begin with.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Having read all the books so know how the story ends but these films are getting better and better as we move the story on. Yes there is loads cut from the book but as a film it moves so so well. The final double biller should be fantastic.
August
The Ugly Truth Its so good to get a romantic comedy with a manly man in it for a change. This film is surprising. It comes across in trailers as a basic rom com with maybe a little bite. But in truth its foul mouthed and dirty. Its also very very funny. Gerard Butler does a decent American accent and Katherine Heigl would get it big style. Sure the romance stuff is spotted a mile off but its done in a good way. Swearing is funny.
Funny People Disappointed is how best to describe my reaction to Judd Apatow’s return to directing. Thing is, its not really just down to the film, which I am sure on repeat viewing would stand up better and better every viewing. Its how it was packaged. It was packaged as a laugh fest with comedy gods galore on show, Sandler, Rogen, Hill? But what it is is a comedy drama about Funny People not the riotous comedy expected. Which is fine but I was all set for certain something and got something completely different and it jarred me. Also the romantic parts suck.
(7) Inglourious Basterds It’s a film that surprises is this, its like if you filmed absolutely everything in real time over the course of the narrative time, you could have made a film out of the Nazi hunting etc but Tarantino has made a film out of the other half if that makes sense. The thing I don’t get about this is how I really feel about it, I am still torn between thinking I am upset I was duped into thinking it would be a film about a gang seeking out Nazis to kill when really there was very little of that aspect in it and it was more about a plot to take out the main folks in the Nazi party or am I happy and pleasantly surprised about it. Now a new Tarantino film is always going to pique this movie watchers interest, and this was no different, like Death Proof some scenes are simply stretched out too long but I definitely enjoyed it. Good that he has got it off his chest, and some great characters in this proves that Quentin still has it in his locker, Christopher Waltz’ Jew Hunter is amazing, Brad Pitt’s Aldo is funny and his hayseed eyetalian accent in it had me in stitches. Good but not the amazing thing I expected, or rather wanted.
September
Julie and Julia There is great irony in a guy who blogs about films cos he loves them shitting over a film about a girl who blogs about cooking because she loves it. So I wont, because its actually pretty enjoyable. don’t watch it if your in any way hungry though or you will chew your hand or arms or the corner of your chair as the food looks great.
(9) Away We Go This is a film about a young (ish, they are in their early 30s) couple looking for their place in the world as they expect the arrival of their new baby. So it resonates with me (apart from the baby bit). There is also a scene where Verona asks her partner Burt “are we fuck ups?” He says no, she tells him she thinks they are because they don’t have the basic stuff figured out, he asks “basic like how?” she reminds them that they have a cardboard window. He reassures her that they arent fuck ups, she protests, and he reassures her We’re not fuck ups” this scene resonates with me just as much. I really liked this, its Sam Mendes second film out this year and by miles his best.
The Soloist Joe Wrights film has been, cruelly in my eyes, sidelined in the Oscar nom’s this year. It seems to tick all the boxes, Robert Downey Jnr, check. True story, check. Mental instability, check. But no, pretty much nothing. Which is a shame because its really rather good.
October
Couples Retreat I really really liked this. However forgive me while I now rip it to shreds for the following reasons. 1. The 4 couples seen to have nothing in common. The don’t seem to be couples who hang out a lot. 2. The guys in particular don’t have that guy chemistry you want (a few Vaughn/Favreau scenes apart). 3. The black couple offer nothing. 4. Whys is Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell together, surely there is a HUGE age difference. 5. What’s with the Guitar Hero scene shoehorned in! But apart from all that I still really enjoyed watching it just this stuff never made any sense. Its pretty funny in parts, even the Vince Vaughn loud moments and Malin Ackerman is kind of awesome. In fact I think having caught this film this year I now have the full set of Ackerman’s 2009 movie output in my watched list. Is that cool?
Ong Bak 2 Bonkers, completely bonkers. I haven’t seen the original but gave it a whirl. Was assured I need not have seen it anyway. It, I think, is supposed to be a prequel anyway and now I think I can go see Ong Bak and understand it. I fully expect that not to be the case. This is just excellent fighting which involves hand to hand and weapons. Oh and elephants. The fighting scenes which utilise the elephants are to be beheld as the best elephant scenes committed to film since maybe Dumbo. The film is bananas. Tony Jaa I salute you.
Toy Story 1 & 2 3D Nice to see at the cinema since I only ever saw these movies on VHS no less! The films are terrific as we all know. The 3D stuff I am not so sure on. Just don’t get the point of it. If you notice the 3D then the film hasn’t got your attention and if you don’t notice it then whats the point? I had my 3D glasses on for the three hours and many times I had to check that there was some 3D effects going on because Buzz and Woody and the gang had me hooked in.
November (6) Harry Brown A British thriller set in urban area with Michael Caine as a vigilante pensioner, its terrific. Read my review of it (yes I have actually done one this year!)
(5) The Informant! Fantastic film from one of my favourite directors, Steven Soderburgh. It is also my opinion that Matt Damon should be everyones favourite actor because his acting chops in this is simply another string to a bow covered in loads and loads of strings. (worst analogy ever) anyway, read my review of this one too if you haven’t already.
December
Oddly like last year I draw a complete blank in December, must be too busy or something. Wanted to see Avatar but only out of curiosity rather than necessity. Sure I will see it this year, it’s a big screen movie for definite.
I should also add that I have seen a fair few other films that didn’t (and may well never) get UK releases. Fanboys, Waking Sleeping Beauty, Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel , Perriers Bounty, Argentinean Oscar hopeful The Secret in their Eyes, the Scottish filmed Viking film: Valhalla Rising, Hong Kong’s newest gangster piece Accident, the Belgian lunacy of A Town Called Panic and The White Stripes documentary of their tour of Canada: Under the Great Northern Lights. Any that come out in 2010 will feature next year. Oh and Up in the Air which will definitely be out in 2010, in fact it probably already is.
Which brings us to…..
The Top Ten in order.
1. The Hangover 2. Star Trek 3. The Wrestler 4. Watchmen 5. The Informant! 6. Harry Brown 7. Inglourious Barsterds 8. Slumdog Millionaire 9. Away We Go 10. Synedoche, New York
Here is The Golden Globes Ceremony: a commentary from a film fan watching a ceremony for the first time.
Ok so I flick it over and I have missed the opening credit sequence, I am thinking was there one or was it just a voiceover to introduce the host Ricky Gervais. I am pretty sure I have only missed maybe two minutes so its not like the Oscars all music and dancing. Though I haven’t ever watched the Oscars either (but I will this year) so I don’t even know if that’s what happens in that. What I will do is assume all I missed was a voiceover intro and our host making his way to the front of the stage to speak to his audience. So Ricky cracks a few gags, a good NBC one in particular and then were straight into awards.
Best supporting actress kicks it all off, I posted a link to the nominations the other day so I wont go through with a dry run down of all nominees and the eventual winner for every award because I have neither the time nor the patience and if your reading this neither will you I expect. So Monique won for the Precious based on a book called Sapphire by someone or other won it. Her speech was quite nice, how she spoke about her husband was touching. When reading the nominations there was no clips, just straight out with the winner. This could all be over sharp if that’s how it goes. But I like clips.
I forgot TV awards were involved in this, now up is best actress on TV in a comedy or something. Whoever the girl is that is presenting with Lost’s own Jack Sheppard is making a big mess of her spiel. As the nominees appear on the screen it comes to my attention that Edie Falco is stunning, but she doesn’t win. Toni Collette wins for I don’t know what. She is quite a good looking lady too actually, I only really remember her as the hippy mother in About a Boy. Hmmm. Ok it’s a break now, 16 minutes in and two awards. The ad breaks have me wondering if its all live, I would think it is live, but what do they do in the ad breaks? But while I think about this it comes back on and its been a short break, the likes of which north american TV ordinarily never sees, so I will say yes, its live.
Out comes the fellow who plays Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, that character is worth watching a TV show for alone, I hope he wins something though I have no idea if he is nominated, he probably isn’t. him and someone else are presenting best actor or maybe supporting actor in a TV show. John Lithgow gets it from under Ari Gold and Ben Linus. Its best actor in a TV series or TV movie I think actually. Michael C Hall must be ill, he is shown in the audience here, it appears Lithgow is in Dexter now. Im so far behind with that, I have only seen series one before STV basically humped it and never showed series 2 and it appeared on ITV4 but wasn’t advertised. I will catch up but probably with a boxset, which disappoints.
Paul McCartney (is he knighted? Should I have Sir in there, I should just have written Macca) cracks a terrific joke I think about how he is now known as that guy from rock band. That’s a funny joke I think. He is out presenting best animated flick and whats going through my mind is the frog chorus for some reason
This award has clips, yeah! Up wins which is kind of predictable. I have no doubts that its awesome but Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs looks interesting and maybe a film like that winning would make others think that maybe Pixar hasn’t got it sewn up and cool stuff like that might get made. I actually like Bolt! but it came out the year before in the US and last year just in the UK and probably isn’t able to qualify. Plus others might think its shite. It has just occurred to me that I think Mo’Nique is the only winner to thank god, that’s kind of refreshing. If its true that is. Anyways its another break, I hope Ricky Gervais makes another appearance when it comes back, seems a waste to have a host that doesn’t feature much.
As it comes back the kind of pan around the room and it makes me think it looks a little like the Lakeside where the BBC’s darts is held every new year. It just doesn’t really look that fancy, its just a big room with big tables, I am not even sure if the tables are for films or TV shows to sit together. I would guess it is but what if you straddle two nominees? What a decision to make, I guess I would pick the one that’s expected to win the most, glory hunting if you will.
So what happened next is this, I am taking notes using my mobile phone, however midway through this note my phone went on the blink ad the note wiped so for 15 minutes my extensive musing are gone. So I will try fill in some details from memory. Michael C hall wins for Dexter in the best actor in TV drama category, no mention of the fact he is wearing a hat on the commentary, I just I don’t remember hearing he was unwell. Regardless, get well soon and well done on the win tonight. Ok best actress in the same category goes to Julianna Margulies for a show I haven’t even heard of. This show she is apparently great in is exec produced by the Scott Bros (Ridley and Tony) so it must have some merit. Other things that happened in this missing link were Kate Hudson came out and showcased a clip of 9 which is in the running for best film in a comedy or musical. Is she still with A-rod I ponder. I don’t really like him.
Meryl Streep makes a speech for winning an award, Best Actress in a comedy/musical maybe? I am trying my best to keep up with all the categories and it’s a break again. A chance to breath. Before every break mostly Avatar is mention for the viewer to tune in and see if it wins for whatever award its up for. Why is it only that film is being mentioned ad nauseam? Is ita link between nbc and the studio. Keeps me in mind of when movie stars like Ben Stiller were on Conan on the same channel promoting the film the week before it came out and they weren’t even in it, it was supposed to be funny, I found it weird.
But back to the Globes, were 71 minutes in and Helen Mirren is presenting Precious to the audience for the best film award its up for, sneaking suspicion its not comedy/musical. The camera shows the representatives of that filma nd I have to say the director of the film has the best facial hair at the awards by some distance.
Sam Worthington and the blue girl from Avatar are presenting best actor in a TV movie or mini series to Kevin Bacon for whatever it is he was in, because guess what? I haven’t seen it. Drew Barrymore wins the female version of the same award and waffles a speech. Anna Paquin however ahs a revealing low cut top on. Which by the power of the internet I should be able to show below
Viola!
Its just mentioned where the awards are held. The Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills. I have never been so cant really pass comment. My dad has been to where the Oscars ate held though. He claims its in a shopping mall. Might well be. Cameron Diaz intro’s a clip for the other Meryl Streep film that’s award nom worthy, the one where she is having an affair with her ex husband, its name escapes me. I should have a catch up of whats happened so far but it all moves so fast. Gerard Butler is now out with Jen Aniston who out of a lot of smoking ladies on show is by far the smokingest tonight, wow. They give the best screenplay to Up in the Air writer and director Jason Reitman who in his speech says that Quentin should have won, I have seen Inglourious Basterds and Up in the Air and though I liked Tarantino’s film and the script rocked, I think the right one won regardless of what Reitman says. His speech is actually a little soppy and leads me to wonder what I would do if I won. I would no doubt be like I am when im drunk and Scotland win or Killie win and I call everyone brother because of the shared experience of it all, no doubt it would be embarrassing for all.
Mr Demi Moore and Mrs Ben Affleck (a wee curveball to keep you awake) award best actor in tv comedy or whatever to Alec Baldwin for 40 Rock and he isn’t there, the first not to be present to pick up his award, there is no live to video of him or anything, rather Kutcher (Mr Demi Moore) picks it up for him, which seems a bit disappointing. couldn’t one of his brothers came in his place, in fact isn’t one of his brothers on celeb Big Brother? You think they discuss such things when they talk? Like would Alec tell of his filming with Meryl Streep this year and his successful TV show and basically a successful time in his career and he asks his brother and he says he slept in the same room as fallen rap star Sisqo and the Basshunter, plus the guy that shagged Jordan years ago. I hope they do talk like that. I wonder what the situation is with getting your award after the event, is it mailed? At this point you know what it is so do you open it or do you just leave it in the box after signing for it and stick it in the ikea unit at your front door that the house phone sits on? Hmmm, that’s something to ponder.
After the break Sam L Jackson appears to line up Inglorious Basterds and is announced as Nick Fury which is cool. Im sure Jackson actually does the voice over for that film. Am I right? Following the Basterds clip he introduces Sofia Loren who has the entire audience on its feet to clap her. It is cliché to say she looks good for her age so I will simply say her glasses are lovely. She is presenting best foreign film and it goes to the German film White Ribbon.
Ok best drama series now and Mad Men wins, I am particularly happy about this as I actually watch this show. John Hamm has a stunning beard I se as he appears on the stage as does the weasly Peter character from the show. He doesn’t actually look so weasly in real life, its that kind of acting then that wins awards! Christine Hendricks is also up on the stage, I mean the whole cast is, she rocks my socks I have to say.
I am thinking that no one is visibly drunk yet, though I may not know how to spot a drunken Hollywood celeb. One would like to think that the casts of some of these shows meet at one cast members house beforehand to drink a carryout so they are half stewed in preparation of the night ahead. It makes sense that they would do this. Though its probably free booze at this bash so maybe that negates the need for a carryout session.
I just missed five minutes while I attended to another matter, I come back and the German chap who is so excellent in his role as the eager Nazi in Inglorious Basterds is winning the awards for best supporting actor. A splendid choice I say regardless of who he was up against, he was pretty damn awesome. Its another break now and the announcer is telling me that Robert De Niro and Leo Di Caprio are coming up to honour Martin Scorsese with the Cecil B. DeMille award. I hope there is a montage of clips from his classics in amongst this, those types of montages are great. The show returns from the break and there they are, Marty’s two boys. They each say there piece and then there is the mantage, its immense, I instantly feel the urge to go through the Scorsese canon right here and now. His speech itself is great, a humble man who knows his stuff when it comes to film. Thanks to you tube, here is that segment from Bobby D and Leo’s arrival to the end of Marty’s speech. TV gold I think.
Another break and it returns with Jodie Foster presenting the clip from the Hurt Locker. After that Gervais returns claiming to be boozed up and beer in hand, but its only to set up a great Mel Gibson gag as he is coming out next to give out an award. He takes it in good humour the ol Jew hating drunk that he is! Ha! Gibson is presenting best director and the winner is…..James Cameron. Does that mean Avatar automatically wins best film? Oh I hope not. James Cameron has some really bad hair right now I should mention.
Also Jason Reitman looks gutted to have lost as well, I actually like that though, looks like he really wanted to win. Moving on with the awards, Jack Bauer is presenting best tv comedy, I hope for entourage to win. Its Glee though. Fuck!
The Glee disappointment is followed by another break but not before avatar gets another wee plug. After the break the guys from The Hangover present a clip for The Hangover funnily enough as its in the running for best comedy/musical I think. I hope that wins, I loved The Hangover, such a good movie. Actually, the next award being given out is that very category and The Hangover wins. Well that’s just excellent, a worthy winner I say, nice when something quite edgy wins I think. The Governor of California is here and he is showing the clip from AVATAR! He also cracks a nice NBC joke which are always nice in these Tonight Show war times.
Moving on as I smell the end, Mickey Rourke hands out best actress in a drama to Sandra Bullock, Rourke looks pretty awesome by the way and Sally Hawkins, whom I don’t actually know, gives Robert Downey Junior best actor gong (comedy/musical) for Sherlock Holmes over Matt Damon for The Informant! Two points about that, first the mysterious Sally Hawkins is wearing what looks like a Airdrieonians away strip with a diamond on the front and secondly I am so unimpressed by the fact Damon never won. I have said in this very blog that I was tipping Damon for award glory and to see him lose isn’t nice. Though Downey Jnr is a class act and his speech is the best of the night which makes up for it.
Ok here we are at the final stretch. Clooney is beaten out by Jeff Bridges in best actor, shame for clooney who was great in Up in the Air but smashing for Bridges who is excellent in everything really and I think I might be correct in thinking this is his first award. Its nice, his speech is rather good too.
Last of all best film. The nominees? Avatar, The Hurt Locker, Up in the Air (please let it win) Inglourious Basterds. The winner is….Bloody Avatar. Balls.
So that’s it, that’s my first experience watching The Golden Globes, it was odd. Really wasn’t as glamorous as I had hoped and seemed kind of dry. I mean the awards shows I generally watch are the British Comedy Awards and the Brits. The brits has music which breaks things up and the comedy awards is manic chaos (though nothing like what it used to be) and it has clips. The Globes was more bang bang bang with the awards I felt. Also the pans round the crowd shoed the great and the good in Hollywood and there is so many faces I didn’t know. Must be all the husbands and wives. All in all the three hours didn’t seem wasted at all, it passed quite quickly. Bring on the Oscars!
For a full list of who won what since my account may not be worth much click here.
Another year is done so it's time to pick some of the best films to come out in those fifty two weeks. 2009 was a little strange movie-wise. In some ways it felt like a damp squib mainly thanks to a blockbuster season full of utter dross. The big event movies were nearly all tied to running series that just weren't very good and Michael Bay finally made the mess of Transformers we all thought he would first time around. As such it was smaller cinema's year to shine. Not just in the "indie" or arty fields but in horror, sci-fi, comedy and so on. While Hollywood strove to destroy the world or saturate the already packed vampire sub-genre those looking to tell different stories really came to the fore. The list sees some fantastic movies from old favourites and new filmmakers alike. It also is missing some great films that just didn't make it. So what follows isn't some snobby, screw the blockbusters list. We here at Splice love a good wham bam summer movie. The problem was that none of them were any good. Thankfully there was many a great film released during the year as this now attests:
10) District 9 A stunning exploration of how countries treat immigrants and an even more stunning effects driven sci-fi thriller. Made for something like a fifth of what it cost to make Revenge of the Fallen Neill Blomkamp's debut film shows Hollywood how to do it. Employing a documentary-like handheld style and some breathtaking effects work for the price spent District 9 is creative in a way most Hollywood fare of a similar ilk (Cloverfield) can only dream about. Plus the performance of first time actor Sharlto Copley is astounding, not just because it is his first film but because a great deal of his dialogue is improvised and he wrings real emotion from the situation.
9) Drag Me To Hell
Sam Raimi's return to the horror genre, although it's arguably actually a comedy, shows up the rest of the genre for the redundant blunt edge it is. Whereas the plebs chose yet another ineffective, pointless remake of something they may have heard of from the 70's or 80's, those in the know chose Drag Me To Hell. It's a good, old fashioned shocker and Raimi has no shame in going for the obvious to get his audience jumping. There is no one better working in film in terms of creative camera work, use of sound and editing and it's through these supposedly simple techniques that he crafts many of the film's best scares. Plus he loves punishing his lead actors and Alison Lohman takes Cambell-level abuse. The horror genre has really missed Raimi, let's hope he works in it again soon.
8) Zombieland
Or the geek's guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse. Ruben Fleischer's debut felt a bit like if Tarantino made a zombie movie given how it's full of dialogue and lots of self-conscious nods to what has gone before. But given that the great man has now descended into relentless self-parody let's be thankful for someone else able to channel the energy needed to make this more than just another comic zombie flick. Like Shaun Of The Dead before it Zombieland does a lot of the cliches but in a way that feels fresh thanks to the direction and witty writing. The performances are great as well, with Woody Harrelson in particular clearly having a bawl. Oh and we can't finish without mentioning that cameo. Simply genius.
7) The Hurt Locker
Kathryn Bigelow does war. The Iraq War to be exact. It's a brutal experience taking you inside the action thanks to a free form, handheld style and it's a place you don't really want to be, well not in real life anyway. Some have criticised Hurt Locker for being pro-war but it's more neutral, which for some is just as bad. Instead it focuses on the soldiers experiences of it and looks at what can only really be described as "war addiction", people who only feel alive when in a situation that could cause their death at any moment. The performances are great, especially Jeremy Renner, the direction tight and the action nerve-shreddingly tense. The year's most intense experience.
6) A Serious Man
It's the Coen Brothers being the Coen Brothers. They've went and done it again sneaking this little gem in right at the death. It focuses on one Jewish man's attempts to explain why his life is falling apart. It could be God, or luck, or, you know, the shit for all intents and purposes happening. It's clear the Coens are playing with us creating something that appears to be incredibly deep and meaningful and yet in the end it seems to be actually pretty meaningless. Call it their response to critics endlessly trying to pick apart their films that they claim don't hold any deeper meaning. The proof lies in the middle of the film with the story about the teeth that contain a message from God. Plus it's the only film this year where you'll get to witness a Bar Mitzvah through the eyes of a stoned 13 year old.
5) The Wrestler
Darren Aronofski decides to tone down all that stylistic stuff and turns in his most raw and human of films as a result. Plot wise it's pretty much every boxing movie ever made only this time it's about a guy risking his life for a "sport" that isn't even real. At least that's the perspective of those who don't like Wrestling. It is for the people involved and its fans very real, as is Randy's situation. It's a movie about someone whose life has passed him by. His glory years are long behind him but he can't let go as he has nothing else. It's a heartbreaking watch and this is mainly thanks to what has to be the performance of the year from Mickey Rourke. He is Randy to some extent, only he is now finding the redemption the character might not allow himself to receive. Oh and Springsteen's song on the end credits should have won a damn Oscar but since Rourke didn't win it was clear the Academy didn't like it. But then, what do they know?
4) Moon
Another debut feature, from Duncan Jones, and another incredible sci-fi film that defies its budget to show Hollywood how ideas will always triumph if allowed to flourish. Moon cost $5 million and yet looks amazing thanks to clever practical effects, model work and subtle CGI. It's a deep, funny and very touching film about a man isolated in a mining base on the lunar surface with only a robot for company. It does what all the best sci-fi does and questions the ideas of what it is to be human. Plus in a time when Hollywood is happy for the genre to feature planet sized destruction Moon comes as a breath of fresh air by looking back to smaller films like Silent Running. Sam Rockwell is brilliant acting pretty much himself for the whole movie and it also features the year's best score thanks to Clint Mansell.
3) In The Loop
Or the sweariest fucking film you'll shitting well see all pissing year. Armando Iannucci's first film, based on the TV show The Thick Of It, is easily the funniest of the year. Anchored by the always brilliant Peter Capaldi as British government spin doctor Malcolm Tucker the film details the run up to a war in the Middle East which both the American and British governments want, they're just struggling to justify it. Sound familiar? It's a biting satire on how rubbish government actually is, whether it's in dour northern English towns or the White House itself. The film is driven almost entirely by dialogue and by the, mainly idiotic or sinister, actions of the characters. And in Jamie the press secretary it features the best one of the year. Witness his outburst towards a fax machine and bask in the sheer insane genius of it all.
2) Up
Why do you have to make me greet like a big wean every bloody time Pixar? There I am in the cinema surrounded by kids who are busy laughing and I'm tearing up. Thankfully when I wipe those tears away I realise all the parents are too, as are my mates. That's the power of these guys and their magical little tales. Everyone gets something from it. For the kids there's talking dogs and silly birds. For the adults, well, there's talking dogs and silly birds as well but there's also a genuinely sad, but ultimately uplifting, story of an old guy who loves his wife, no matter if death separates them or not. If the opening ten minutes, the finest opening to a film all year, doesn't get you, Carl seeing what's in the rest of the adventure book will. Sublime, beautiful and damn exciting Up is another fine achievement from some of the best filmmakers in the business, animated or otherwise.
1) Let The Right One In
So after all the moaning about how many bloody vampire films and TV shows have been released thanks to the abysmal yet ridiculously successful Twilight my film of the year is a bloody vampire film. But what a film it is. Whereas so many others added nothing to the bloodsucker sub-genre Let The Right One In is a stunningly original take on the tale that seems older than time. Instead of being an outright horror it rather is an exploration of adolescent love, friendship and loneliness. Well seeing it's a European film instead of Hollywood. Like many of the other genre pictures on this list it towers above most other modern examples by trying to be something different instead of yet another blunt, redundant pile of rubbish. It is a stunning little film, slow and ponderous, yet brutal at all the right moments. It is also a brave picture, not just in its attempts to bring something new to the vampire film, but in how happy it is to dwell in its ambiguities. It asks the viewer to work out what is going on and can be read many ways. Original, brilliant and the best film released this year, even if it is yet another bloody vampire film.
P.S. Make sure you see it before the Hollywood remake comes out and ruins everything!
Turns out one of Splice's favourite* actors Nic Cage is in massive debt. Maybe he felt a duty to personally refund all those punters who went to see The Wicker Man remake.
Failure to pay taxes could see him facing jailtime. Anything that stops anysort of sequel to Bangkok Dangerous is welcome if you ask me.
Of course if he doesn't then he's probably going to have to raise some major cheddar to pay off his creditors. That would mean making a ton of films in as quick a time as possible, suggesting the name Nic Cage being attached to a film means it's less likely to be quality like Raising Arizona or Leaving Las Vegas and more likely to be of the level of Splice's favourite** film of whatever year it was released, Next.
Obviously this situation has to be monitored closely. That pert of our brains that tries to comprehend Nic Cage's success depends on it.
*Sometimes I get my words mixed up, favourite means you think he's an overacting, lucky hack who owes much of his career to who he's related to, doesn't it?
** Favourite in this context I'm trusting means most shambolic pile of bum leakage.
Hockey, North American speak for Ice Hockey is a really good game actually. Football (soccer, sic) is also a very good game. I am probably wrong but hockey is almost (but not quite) as neglected in the movie world as football but it will soon have a new film in its canon and this one is by a respected and good director (in my opinion at least) and that is reason to rejoice.
As i have given this blog the title of "Kevin Smith Hockey Movie" it shouldnt be too hard to decipher as to which director is taking a pop at an actual sports movie so i suppose i should just get going with some info if you want it and highlight how excited i am about the prospect even at this early stage.
My interest was piqued by a few things, having liked Smiths films a lot over the years i have recently finished his book My Boring Ass Life and thought it was great and kinda developed a wee crush on him when i spot his name in anything i am instantly drawn so while hunting out the hockey scores on Tuesday night, mooching around the nhl website i chanced upon a piece about him and read with interest that following A Couple of Dicks which is due out soonish, his next project will be a film about hockey!
The link i have put on explains it all in detail but to surmise, its a film based on a song (when at uni my scriptwriting lecturer oftens said that songs could form the basis of decent scripts and i long held the belief that that was bullshit but not no now) by a guy called Warren Zevon and is called Hit Somebody and so now on the imdb page for the expected film that is the title it is going under. Other links on this page have Will Wheaton as the lead, but i Think this was taken from some throwaway remark on twitter. Where else? Though i in no way have any opinion on Wheaton playing a role when i dont know what that role is, god, even if i did know the role i probably wouldnt have much of an opinion!
So, well, a thouroughly thought out blog would have some insight into the song from listening to it but there will be none of that here. I may seek out the song in the future but right now i am just happy that the film is being mooted. I have read its about an enforcer type player who would dearly love to score a goal but is sent out onto the ice simply to beat the crap out the opositions good players. Sounds good, it may even be a period piece which would be sweet.
So there we have it, 2011 is the estimated date of arrival which is kinda vague, but a date of arrival none the less, you could check back here regular to get updates on this project but i recommend Smiths own twitter account or his excellent websites.
Oh and Smith is in Britain right now and is visiting Scotland to talk, and Im in Canada.
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. You senile, old fool you. For a while now you've been doing these things that suggest that you're past it, ignoring every Pixar film for best picture and then giving them the derogatory best animated film award, say. Or how about giving Scorsese an award for a film that wasn't that great purely because you forgot to give him one for any of his great works. That one had you hanging by a thread.
Old time readers will know that I've got a bit of a problem with Corman and his Wonderful World of Budget Constraints, in fact the second ever Splice post was about him.
Frankly some of the true greats have never won an Oscar, or had to take the Scorsese-like one, so it's frankly galling that one will rest on the mantelpiece of the man who made these:
Now I love cheesy B-movies as much as the next weirdo but Corman's aren't even as fun as the trailers make them look! Basically this is a man who can take the idea of a mutant pickle invading Earth with his army of bats and make it boring!
So why is he getting this award? The argument about the talent he has fostered doesn't ring true. It's an impressive list of genuinely brilliant talent, Jack Nicholson, Francis Ford Coppolla, James Cameron to name a few. But the stuff they made under him was almost entirely garbage, mainly thanks to him. He may have given them a break but that's it. I doubt that the Oscar is being given to him because of association with others who were worthy winners. If that really were the case then an honourary gold chap is surely in the offing for, say, the Weinsteins.
No this smacks of of the industry honouring a great business man, which it must be said Corman is. In these troubled financial times Hollywood is feeling it, look at the way the entire industry appears to have pinned its hopes on Avatar being the biggest thing ever. As such Corman's business model, spend so little on the film that it actually isn't possible for it to fail to make the money back, is very appealing to the suits.
In fact, it's pretty much the model that the industry works on, just on a far larger scale. Hollywood doesn't fail to turn a profit thanks to all the ancillary markets, it's really all about how big that profit actually is when the scare stories about the industry in decline start spreading. Awarding Corman points to the fact that his way of doing things is the ideal for the industry so look out for more story-less trash designed to smash your senses into submission instead of films with any sort of substance.
An award such as this should be about honouring artistry, but in this case it's purely a business thing. Giving an Oscar to Corman for his work makes a mockery of an award's ceremony that should mean something but has instead become a mass marketing tool. It dilutes anything already given out under the name to others for their "outstanding achievements" and "artistry".
At this rate it'll soon be preferable to have an MTV Movie Award on your mantelpiece. Do you hear that Oscar? I said AN MTV MOV..., aw forget it you deaf, old bastard.
Here's another in the occasional series of movie trailer roundups. Think of it as a service that allows you to turn up for a film twenty minutes later than the start time and still be clued in on upcoming movies (unless you're in North America where you're now clued up on movies that were out about a month ago but didn't bother to see).
We're now in the sort of post-Blockbuster season, the big summer movies are done and it's still too early for the fantasy epics that appear around Xmas. Usually that means a lot of quirky, interesting pictures but as these trailers show that might not be quite the case this year:
2012
The hugest of summer movies, and yet it's been held until after the summer. Roland Emmerich may be the greatest example of the auteur theory in action, as he keeps returning to that "world getting the shit kicked out of it" theme again and again. Plus they all feature pretty good casts who don't need to actually act, just perform the role of "plot delivery" between the repeated money shot SFX. Queue this being every 14 year old boy's "Greatest Film Ever" relegating Transformers 2 to the number two slot.
Surrogates
Not a bad idea and it's got Bruce Willis in it which is usually a good thing. The suspicion is that it'll end up just being a bog-standard action flick though. There's also the suspicion that it'll start resembling The Matrix, I, Robot and Minority Report. On other words it'll look a bit like Ghost In The Shell (am I right cool kids?).
Pandorum
Ah, some fun family viewing about a group of happy people's first trip into space and all the colourful, joyous things they encounter. I'm guessing, I tend not to bother paying attention to these.
Looks a bit like Alien = good thing It comes from the same producers as the Resident Evil films = very bad thing indeed!
One for the possibly decent pile.
Whiteout
Or the incredible story of how one of The Monkees' parents invented Tippex.
Again there's a nice idea here, murder in the frozen tundra. Shamefully it looks like the plot goes a bit mental. Plus Kate Beckinsale in a role that should be going to someone like Tommy Lee Jones doesn't quite wash.*
*I'm cheating slightly with this one as I read some reviews of this whilst in Toronto. It's meant to be utter baws.
Fame
If you needed proof that our pathetic 80's obsession has hit saturation point it's this pointless remake of what was already shite. Blame it on X-Factor and American Idol and Swaziland's Got Talent. It's thanks to shows like that that the public supposedly want tales of the route to stardom, missing the irony that since Fame is set in a talent school you actually do need some to get in and graduate, whereas little is required to succeed in those shows.
Sorry, rant over, but fuck you Susan Boyle with your face and bludgeoning voice. Sorry, it really is over.
The most alarming thing about this trailer; they've somehow made the theme song worse. How is that possible?
Oh, and another irony? Nobody remembers the names of any of the original's cast. Take heed cast of the 2009 version!
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Now this looks like it could be fun. Stop motion animation's cool, the original book's one of the best things the mighty Roald Dahl wrote and it's being directed by every indie kid's favourite indie kid director. Looks like much has been changed but the voice cast's good and if Anderson can re-capture the spirit and tone of the book this could be a winner.
Here's a bumper Great Lines special dedicated to Splice Hero of Cheese Patrick Swayze:
"Well, when you grow up... then you'll know these things, Danny. Now get up here and piss in the radiator" - Jed shows how age gives you new perspectives on how to fix a car, Red Dawn
"You just put your pickle on everybody's plate, college boy, and leave the hard stuff to me" - Johnny talking about sex, or dancing, or whatever, it's a bloody chick flick and, no, I'm not including that line about an infant on the periphery of the room or something, Dirty Dancing
"I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer; somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them; somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be" - Film's message, you are clear to land via Swayze's mouth, Dirty Dancing
"Ditto" - Sam Wheat proves that with the ladies all you need is one word that means "right back at ya" to make them melt, oh and some killer abs, Ghost
"You are a fear prisoner. Yes, you are a product of fear" - Jim Cunningham, who is an actual prisoner, a product of liking little kids a tad too much, Donnie Darko
And now a drum role for the two best roles Mr. Swayze ever had, both are endlessly quotable and so here's a shitload of quotes:
First the Steven Pressley lookalike Bodhi from Point Break (you can follow each one of these quotes with the phrase "like dude"):
"Little hand says it's time to rock and roll"
"100% pure adrenaline!"
"Life sure has a sick sense of humor, doesn't it?"
"Back off Warchild, seriously"
"They only live to get radical"
"Goddamn! You are one radical son of a bitch!"
"Six seconds. We're going to be meat waffles"
"Yo, Johnny! I see you in the next life!"
And now for the Swayziest of all the Swayze roles, Dalton from Roadhouse (insert "FUUUUUCK YAAAAAAAAS!!!!!" after each of these quotes)
"Pain don't hurt"
"All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice"
"I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice"
"If you're gonna have a pet, keep it on a leash"
"My way... or the highway"
I think that we should go back to Point Break's Bodhi for our final quote:
"If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love"
Ahead of Splice's review of Tarantino's latest I felt I had to provide a link to this post on the IMDB about what Jewish critics thought about it. I do so purely because the phrase "Jewish revenge porn" is simply brilliant and thought credit where credit's due.
So well done to the critic at the Jewish Daily Forward that. Consider it hereby nicked by Splice. Let us herald a new genre of film, the Jewish Revenge Porn. Work will now start on a script that can do the genre name justice. Something about a horny plumber seeking revenge for his lack of a foreskin maybe.
Brace yourself for a bidding war major Hollywood studios!
